Yes, this internship leads to full-time employment. For everyone. Except you.

It is not trolling. I get these emails all the time.

So people are actually like this? Every time I want to give humanity the benefit of the doubt...

People are actually like this. Yep, yep, yep.

It's why I spend so much time at Buffistas, huddling around the blazing bonfire of sanity and snark, in a world made of glaciers of ice decanted from the river of morons.

I know that whole company cried and cried about this. They are probably still crying unconsolably.

well, yes, if you laugh hard enough you'll end up crying

And they should have responded like this.

A job listed in Playbill.com is probably a theater related job. Dude. Chill! Try decaf, k? Wow! I hope non of the students I will have to deal with will be that bad. I know I'll be in CA, but that kind of tude will get my repressed NYer out to the nines!

ION, right now, I am feeling very much like one of those coin sorter machines. Ya know, dump the change, it has a gear with a hole for each sized coin, spinning coins to different directions. Well, that's what I am doing. This goes here, that there, and ooo that can go with that pile. A handful of partially packed boxes. Things are coming to the last 1/4 of small stuff. It doesn't look like the end, but having done this before, I know it's getting close. Oy. I hate packing. Plus, got a headache. Also, took the car into the shop to get the twice over before big road trip. $700+. Yikes. I budgeted some of that in, so not horrible. But still. It's all preventive stuff, so better here, than in the middle of the desert between here and CA, right?

he's sorry to inform them that he will not be submitting an application.

For positions that were ALREADY FILLED. So in addition to being a world-class entitled douche, he also has reading comprehension problems.

Right, Steph??

Proffessor, what you fail to realize is that my story explains the topic in so much detail, that being specific is not in my nature as a writer, or a mathotical student. You see if I was to follow the path as the other students, I would have never gained the respect and admiration of my past teachers. What you failed to realize is that I understand the topic in greater depth than any of the other students. So much so, that I had a smile on my face writing this paper knowing that only an A student would understand my direction.

No, Vortex, I have never, ever, ever doubted you.

That paper is written to perfection whether you understand it or not!

Oh, as usual, dear.

Yes, my darling, but the point is not whether you comprehend the concept with blinding brilliance, but that you communicate it with such crystal clarity that even clods such as your fellow students and your dullard professors can share that gift of understanding. Don't you get it?