{{{{Stephanie}}}}} I hope you and Joe are able to come to an understanding about how best to balance protecting your kids with honoring his mother.

In Re: the anti-semitism discussion, here is a recent LJ post on my flist on the topic: [link] It mentions specifically an Italian bishop blaming Jews for the Roman Catholic Church's sex abuse scandal, who thinks that Hilter just might have been on to something. And it mentions the Stephen Roth Institute's tracking of violent incidents of anti-semitism, including over 100 in the U.S. during 2009. I dunno if this will help or hurt.

The weird thing to me is that Joe looks so much like his mom, but she's a total stranger.

The weird thing to me is that Joe looks so much like his mom, but she's a total stranger.

This is the weirdest thing.

I was shocked to hear my vocal expressions...including word choice...coming back at me over the phone line. I wasn't even talking properly when we were parted!

And, as I drug myself through the airport, after leaving my mother's last hospital stay, I heard someone say, "Are you Bonny?"

It was my half-sibling, whom I had not seen in 33 years. She said that she looked up, in her tired state, and asked outloud, "How could they let my mother out of the hospital, I thought she was dying."

Though I never saw it myself, I am apparently the spitting image. So, so strange.

Stephanie, it seems weird for a total stranger to say such a thing, but I really do feel for both you and Joe in this scenario and hope for the very best possible outcome. It's awkward and challenging...but I'm glad that I got to know my mother, even the least little bit I did, if just to complete my own history. I hope the same, or much better, comes to pass for you.

And, on a totally other note, thanks again for the Floradix recommendation. I started taking it yesterday and feel as if I have so much iron going on that magnets are going to start flying toward me any minute. If I make it through my donation next week, it will be down to your good advice!

I'm not Jewish, and I believe anti-semitism still lurks right below the surface here. We're maybe two generations from when overt anti-semitism was culturally acceptable. The emotional basis of the Holocaust deniers is pretty obviously anti-semitic. When people (and by people, I sadly include members of my family) think they're among their own, they still say things like "Jew them down on the price" and blame things on "Jew bankers." Some of the grandchildren of the men who lynched Leo Frank are prominent Georgians. The Temple bombing was only 50 years ago and represents the kind of redneck opposition to the Civil Rights movement and general suspicion of the Other that exists today.

A little bit too doped up to trust myself to say anything insightful on antisemitism right now.

I got Chinese food for dinner. My fortune is "The weather is wonderful." That one doesn't even make any sense with "in bed" added.

My fortune is "The weather is wonderful." That one doesn't even make any sense with "in bed" added.

Perhaps it would if it were written by someone in Minnesota. "Snuggle Weather" was a favorite descriptor of nasty weather of a friend of mine back in uni who came from this great, if bloody-f-ing cold, state.

normally, where he's from, you don't ask your mom to go smoke outside.

Ya know, where I'm from, you don't smoke in other people's houses without their permission—blood relative or not. Good luck with the visit. I hope you find a comfortable way of handling things.

Bonny, that's a lovely photo. I don't really have make up advice to give, though, as my usual make up regimen is chap-stick, moisturizer, and eyelash dye once a month (and I'm about 3 weeks behind, as my usual aesthetician up and quit a week before my last appointment was supposed to happen). Sorry.

Ya know, where I'm from, you don't smoke in other people's houses without their permission

Yeah, me too, although I suppose that's part of the problem.

When we lived in Brazil, I was horrified when this woman from Peru lit up in my living room. I hope she knows it's not culturally acceptable here, but she lives in Honduras these days so I don't know.

Stephanie, not allowing smoking in the same house as your kids is protecting them. In your shoes, I'd feel very comfortable setting the limit that in this house you smoke outside. Because protecting the health of your kids takes precedent over not offending your Mother In Law. Not saying you have to feel the same way, but my input for what it is worth.

In terms of anti-semitism, again not saying Anti-semitism is not real or dangerous. But take 100 violent anti-semitic incidents in one year in the U.S., most non-fatal. In 2007 the FBI collated 2,658 incidents of "hate crimes" against African-Americans and Black people compare to 969 "hate crimes" against Jews. Now both these are almost certainly undercounts. [link] But I think it is an example of scale.