normally, where he's from, you don't ask your mom to go smoke outside.

Ya know, where I'm from, you don't smoke in other people's houses without their permission—blood relative or not. Good luck with the visit. I hope you find a comfortable way of handling things.

Bonny, that's a lovely photo. I don't really have make up advice to give, though, as my usual make up regimen is chap-stick, moisturizer, and eyelash dye once a month (and I'm about 3 weeks behind, as my usual aesthetician up and quit a week before my last appointment was supposed to happen). Sorry.

Ya know, where I'm from, you don't smoke in other people's houses without their permission

Yeah, me too, although I suppose that's part of the problem.

When we lived in Brazil, I was horrified when this woman from Peru lit up in my living room. I hope she knows it's not culturally acceptable here, but she lives in Honduras these days so I don't know.

Stephanie, not allowing smoking in the same house as your kids is protecting them. In your shoes, I'd feel very comfortable setting the limit that in this house you smoke outside. Because protecting the health of your kids takes precedent over not offending your Mother In Law. Not saying you have to feel the same way, but my input for what it is worth.

In terms of anti-semitism, again not saying Anti-semitism is not real or dangerous. But take 100 violent anti-semitic incidents in one year in the U.S., most non-fatal. In 2007 the FBI collated 2,658 incidents of "hate crimes" against African-Americans and Black people compare to 969 "hate crimes" against Jews. Now both these are almost certainly undercounts. [link] But I think it is an example of scale.

eyelash dye

I would love to do that, and have gotten good results in the past...but not in the budget right now.

Yeah, i hope she gets that.

I'm a smoker, and I would never, ever assume I could smoke inside. But I know that for a lot of people in other generations, it's not the same assumption.

Leaving the smoking question aside but not the estranged family. I got a Facebook post about a year ago - I posted about it here - from an older half sister. I always intended to respond and then just - didn't. It came at a time when I was dealing with a lot of emotional shit - right about the time with the dog and all. So, I couldn't then. And then the time went on and I felt bad about it. And then it went on some more and I came to the realization that I - I just don't care.

I've always known that my dad had other children. ( I kind of knew his youngest before my family, a son who's been a fuck up all my life, but I've at least had a little contact with.) If he called me and needed something I would - probably feel a lot like Cash with some of her extended, but would do something. The older two, sisters, I kind of wish I felt a connection to, wish I wanted a relationship with. But honestly - I don't. I'm glad she's in touch with him again, and I hope she gets something out of it. But I'm honestly just not interested. And that feels crappy sometimes. Like I'm a crappy person. But I'm really not sure what to do with all of it.

(The other dicey thing is that neither of my younger siblings really know much of anything about this. I've known all my life. For whatever reason they never did, and certainly don't know them or their names or whatever. Which doesn't affect me at all, but just makes it all weirder.)

Also, did someone say something about eyelash dye? Because I haven't found someone here who will do it, but I love it.

Because I haven't found someone here who will do it, but I love it.

In Chicago? How can that be hard to find?

Yelp: eyelash dying.

Try Roque salon.

Okay, I haven't found someone I also want to do my hair who will do it.

(Also, the fourth one on your link there is Harry Caray's steakhouse. Which, granted, does a mean ribeye. Not sure I want to let them loose on my face.)