"If I get my Ph.D/ever have anything published, I want to be Dr. Griggs, not Dr. J."

Well, yeah, you wouldn't want to be confused with Julius Irving, the famous forward of the Philadelphia 76ers

Well, now, I WOULD like to be mistaken for him: "Damn, we were expecting a very tall older black man who used to play basketball and now have a doctorate in literature!"

"Well, ya got ME!"

Wallybee kept her name too. Taking the husband's name is pretty much unknown in China. (Kids still get their father's name. In Ryan's case, the way we see it, he has an English name and a Chinese name. His English name uses my surname and his Chinese name uses Wallybee's family name.)

My wife kept her name too. There's the occasional confusion, but really not very much.

That reminds me that you were in a dream last night! It was a normal boring type dream just socializing at a park or dinner or something. You and your wife and kids and my family. Thing that clued me in to the dream state was that your wife was Stephanie! Then I was trying to figure out whether the kids were yours or hers since I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't figure it out since I didn't recognize them. You and Stephanie didn't think anything was off.

I took Brendon's name since he likely wouldn't have wanted me to keep any of my previous married names and it had been almost 20 years since I used my maiden name. Also Laura Holt suited me fine.

In honor of the day:

Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam... And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva... So tweasure your wuv.

Love and blessings, Erin!!

That reminds me that you were in a dream last night!

Funky. So, no Indian Buffista who wasn't Polter-Cow?

So, that thing where last night I squee'ee'eed about YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW?

YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY!!!!

As for name changing, I found that it was kind of the big pregnant belly rub of getting hitched -- my name was all kinds of everybody's business, and people I barely knew were demanding answers, and offering opinions that *everyone* (or, you know, ME) was going to SO HORRIBLY CONFUSED if I (a) changed it or (b) didn't, and... sigh. The decision to keep mine was never in doubt, but the extent to which people got torqued up about it was significantly stressful for me.

Since I got married? Not. one. person. has ever questioned it, or even blinked, or so much as said anything weirder than "nice to meet you" when introduced to Amy H and Stephen P.

I've decided if I marry someone whose name is easy to spell I would change.But this name is also my byline so there could be some confusion. But I think it will be no big with everyone being distracted by hell freezing over and all.

Congratulations, Erin!

I'm thoroughly neutral on who, if anybody, should change their surname (and if so, to what) after marriage. But I do reserve the right to ask once, politely, after the wedding if I'm not sure what to call someone.

WOO HOO Erin's getting married! May it be the perfect day you deserve.

Job~ma all around.

I kept my maiden name. I contemplated hyphenating, but it came down to paperwork - just wasn't going to do it - and I had already developed a professional reputation as MFN. It still bothers my FIL, and to a lesser extent DH, to this day.

I handle it just like it's handled in Italy. The women legally keep their surname from birth, but are known socially as Mrs. Husband's Last Name. I don't mind introducing myself as MFP; I just didn't want to lose the part of my identity visibily manifested by my maiden name.