That passage must be really confusing to those who think everything in the Bible is literally true, and not, you know, some kind of metaphor or something.

The best one for that is the one in Kings where the lord brings forth a couple of bears to tear apart a bunch of kids who make fun of Elisha being bald.

Those passages sound like a drug deal. Gold for ten bags, indeed.

Here we go 2 Kings 2:23-25

23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!” 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number. 25 And he went from there to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.

I have a non-Jesus query for Mah Bitches. In Pilates we do a roll-up, which you probably know is rolling up to a seated position from lying down while keeping legs straight and on the floor. When I say "we," I actually mean "other people," since even after many months of taking class, I can. not. do. it. I am getting better, but I still can't do it, and usually 99% of the other students can. Can you guys do it? Am I an ab-less freak? Does my head weigh one million lbs?

I can do lots of other challenging things, just not this.

The best one for that is the one in Kings where the lord brings forth a couple of bears to tear apart a bunch of kids who make of Elisha being bald.

That one is one of my favorite Bible stories ever, especially when I can do the Faire as a Puritan. And if I had the money, I'd totally buy this beautiful baking mold actually showing Elisha flourishing an arm and saying, "Look what I did!" as bears chow down on sassy children, and make shortbread with it. Every Sunday would be Bake Sale Day!

Scrappy, clearly your front end is overloaded and causing an imbalance with all the spicy brains.

That one is one of my favorite Bible stories ever

Mine, too!

I also love the one in Acts, where the dude (Eutychus?) was sitting in a window when one of the apostles (Luke, maybe?) was preaching, and apparently the apostle was so boring that Eutychus fell asleep in the window, and it being an upper story and all, and the 1st century having no screens, Eutychus fell out the window.

Possibly he died and someone brought him back to life, but I can't really remember.

t edit It wasn't Luke; it was Paul, being all long-winded, and there is debate as to whether Eutychus actually died: [link]

there is debate as to whether Eutychus actually died: [link].

Just wait for the next episode of CSI: New Testament....

Oh, man, I can't decide which is the best ever death, bored out a window or eaten by bears for sassing.

Re the nuns, the big deal of it to me is that I know from being unpleasantly smacked in the face with it in recent church bulletins that a big part of the US church is actively pushing to kill the bill outright because it's insufficiently pro-life. As in, diocesan officials putting notices in weekly parish bulletins telling people to call their representatives and say, "As a Catholic, I believe this bill is fundamentally immoral and I want you to vote it down" (total paraphrase; I raged out when I saw it and can't remember the exact script).

The current bill is hideously insufficient in its protections of women's reproductive rights, definitely. But, even so, the church in the US is working hard to kill it, kill it a lot, so it's a *huge* deal that a large group of women religious is standing up and calling bullshit on the attempt to kill it. It seems like a small distinction in the wrangling over the degree of badness in a hugely flawed bill, but from the inside it's a gigantic, as-close-to-explicit-as-a-nun-ever-gets FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING DIVORCED FROM REALITY FUCKS to the PTB.

Are there sunglasses involved?

::imagines disciples doing the Horatio::