It's funny, billytea, but I believe that Ryan's ability to remember his grandparents isn't as important as his sense of security/trust that they've helped foster.

Ryan's clearly a very happy kid, who knows he's loved. That's what you try to give them at this age.

His grandparents don't get memory-credit for that, but you and Wallybee don't either. He won't remember what has been done for him, but he'll know it on a deeper, not-quite-conscious level.

(One of my early epiphanies as a parent was that Emmett would never remember any of the hardest stuff I had to learn as a parent. He wouldn't have any memory of all the times I was up with him at 3am, or nursing him through his first stomach virus.)

And he'll build a relationship with them over time. Extended visits, summers, traveling will be very memorable and important to him.

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Are they from mainland China? or HK? Or Taiwan?

They're from the mainland, a city called Hangzhou. It's a couple of hours' drive from Shanghai (where they're from originally). It was the capital of China during the Southern Song dynasty, and there are some lovely gardens and temples and such like around the West Lake (the area has a national reputation.)

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I'm trying to come up with a formula working backwards to figure out what I need to make.

If average housing costs H, and H should be 35% of take home pay. Then takehome should = H/.35

Now, if Take home is equal to Gross (x) minus 10% for retirement, minus 30% for taxes, roughly speaking, take home is X-40%. So, I have rental prices for the area, what is the formula to add 40% back to take home? Ugg. mental block. probably over thinking this.

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It's late, and I'm sleepy, but I think what you're saying, OA, is.

Gross-40%=TakeHome

.6G=T

And you've already figured .35(TakeHome)=Housing

So .35(.6G)=Housing

And you know an actual number for Housing, right? Like, $1000 or whatever?

So, G=$1000/(.6*.35) (In that case, Gross would end up around $57K)

Maybe. If I'm not too sleepy to be doing algebra.

(Also...10% for retirement? Damn. You're...good. I am bad, and have only been saving up to what the company matches)

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Ha, thanks Meara, brain freeze said, ok, let's look at it from the other way. So I took TX end of year paycheck and ran the percentages of everything, then added the 7.25% CA state income tax (I know, it's a graduated thing up to 9%, so I went with average). That gave me a rough estimate of gross vs net for CA, which I estimate to be about 65% of gross. Then I made a little chart with 4 columns:

a) salary gross
b) salary net
c) 35% net (yearly rent)
d) c/12 (monthly rent)

Then filled column A with figures every 3k, starting with starting salary, and working up to get a number in column D that comes ballpark with average rent for city of Irvine. I also highlighted what range the range that hits the "subsidized University housing for faculty & staff" which is still above the pay range.

So, G=$1000/(.6*.35) [where $1000 is monthly rent]

Yes! It worked. Well, I made it .65*.35, then took your formula and multiplied it by 12 to give me a yearly. Thanks! So, when haggling on the phone, I can type in numbers, and see some basic results.

ETA: All this makes me wonder, how the hell I survived on what my old CA job payed me out there! I know, part of it was living in Long Beach, where it's a bit cheaper. But oy!

Also...10% for retirement? Damn. You're...good

Yes, I feel I kinda have to. I have no clue when this body of mine will say "nope, can't work anymore". So if I gotta go on disability, I need some kind of nest egg to pull from. Social Security/SDI pays like $800/month or so. So ya, been doing 10% since I finished grad school and had full time job. Not that it's a lot squirreled away. 10% of non-profit salary = eh. But, gotta do whatcha gotta do.

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omnis, insent.

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His grandparents don't get memory-credit for that, but you and Wallybee don't either. He won't remember what has been done for him, but he'll know it on a deeper, not-quite-conscious level.

Yeah, it's not about getting credit for anything, nor about prioritising anything over anything else. It's more that Ryan deserves to know his grandparents, and they deserve to know him. We'd like that to happen.

Anyway, the day went well. After having observed him closely for a period of several hours, I conclude that Ryan remains full of awesomeness. Oh, and he has a top tooth now. He's 15% of the way to his full complement of baby teeth.

Meanwhile, Wallybee drove for her work today, and learned the true meaning of fear. (She's had her licence for about a week, and hasn't driven in the city during the work day before.) But she lives! Her parents took a boat out to the Great Barrier Reef. Her mum enjoyed it and her dad threw up. Still, he's fond of discussing the size of Chinese cities, parks, lakes etc compared to their Australian counterparts; I'll be interested to see what he thinks of the Reef.

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Wow, bt - it's amazing and wonderful that you and Wallybee have had her parents backing you up! My DH went away for 5 days, and juggling the baby's needs (and the dog's) was a challenge. I am thinking about going to my yearly boondoggle next month at a spa/resort for one of my editing gigs without husband or baby - I missed it last year because I was 9 months pregnant, so I really should show up this year and I'm not sure we can afford to fly the family down.

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After having observed him closely for a period of several hours, I conclude that Ryan remains full of awesomeness.

Phew.

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I am thinking about going to my yearly boondoggle next month at a spa/resort for one of my editing gigs without husband or baby

Doo eeet. You need to look after yourself too.

Phew.

I know! It was on the knife edge, then he started giggling and playing peek-a-boo with his cuddle toy when I put him to bed. Way to come through in the clutch, tiny person.

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