~ma and Fuck Cancer ginger's way.

Also, I'd urge prostate cancer screening as early as your doctor recommends to all the Buffista men and the men Buffistas love.

Oh Ginger, all the ~ma of numerous kinds to your friend and her brother's kids. And may the crazy ex stay far, far away. Fuck cancer indeed.

So glad you found some relief, JZ.

Ginger, strength and peace to your friend and the poor kids. Fuck cancer.

JZ, albuterol is your friend. At least it's MY friend. I like that "breathing" thing. Coughing up vileness sounds more like bronchitis than asthma to me. If it's a funky colored vile, it's an infection in there somewhere. Antibiotics would be called for.

I'm stuck in a depression spiral. This hasn't happened and lasted this long for quite a while. I don't even have a clue what triggered it. But I can't seem to pull out of it. I haven't changed my meds, work is actually going a little better, nothing's *happened*, so why am I sleeping most of the time and staring blankly into space the rest of the time? it's not PMS-related, I know when to look out for that and it goes away when the hormones settle, so it's not that. I start getting scared when I get like this, afraid it's not going to get better. I know what I should be doing, I just can't seem to make myself get up and do it. I'm really tired of this. I'm taking the max amount of Welbutrin allowed, no other antidepressant has ever worked, I've been checked out top to toe and there seems to be nothing wrong with me like low thyroid or anything. I don't know what else to do. I've gained so much weight in the last few years, it's horrifying to me, I didn't change my eating or exercise habits but I've gained like 50 pounds. I thought Welbutrin was supposed to make you lose weight. And not supposed to fuck with your sex drive, but I barely have that anymore either. Like I'd be having sex anyway. Damn. What do I do here? This is intolerable.

asthma -- but it is not necessarily chronic.

RIght -- it could be infection-related or post-infectious asthma.

What do I do here? This is intolerable.

Oh, Zenkitty. That sucks so hard. Have you tried adding anything to the Wellbutrin? Sometimes that works.

Steph, I added Deplin last fall, and that worked really well - I felt much better. Until just recently. I guess, objectively, it's only been a week or two, but it's hard not panic. Usually for me this kind of mental retreat is triggered by my not wanting to deal with something unpleasant. Maybe I'm just suffering from a massive case of cabin fever. Maybe I'll go take a long drive in the mountains tomorrow if it's sunny at all. That might help. Fuck, I really don't want to add more drugs. It's never helped before - except for the Deplin, which technically is a vitamin - and I don't think I've got the emotional strength right now for another round of Russian roulette with brain drugs.

Zen, I think getting out of the house is key. Actually, I was going to suggest a gym, or making a firm commitment to walking, either in your neighborhood, or drive to a good place to walk (and yes, I know how silly that sounds). Exercize will get things moving, and oxygenating your brain alone can be energizing and lift your mood.

And from experience, if I'm whinging over sore muscles and strained joints, I don't notice the mental pain as much.

Beverly, you're probably right. I'm a hermit by nature; I hadn't realized how long it's been since I left the house for more than a quick run to the grocery.

Hmm. Curing depression with pain. You could probably sell that idea on the talk show circuit!

Health~ma would be appreciated. My body isn't very good at fighting infections. I've picked one up and I've helpfully been ignoring it since Friday. Yesterday it got really bad and now I'm being sent to a walk-in centre at the hospital, because out-of-hours doctors only make house calls "in extreme circumstances", and being disabled and too unwell to move apparently doesn't count. So now I have to go and sit in a cold waiting room full of sick people who could infect me further. Nice. No-more-pain~ma particularly appreciated!

Ginger, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's brother. Many good thoughts for his family. How wonderful of his sister to take his children into her home. There are good people in this world.

Zenkitty, thinking of you. Depression spirals are hell. Do you have a good doctor? They should be able to make suggestions. You may need a different anti-depressant, rather than a higher dose. There are also options that aren't antidepressants - my miracle drug was a bipolar med that they also sometimes give to unipolar types. You could get your doc to explore the more unusual options with you. Much ~ma for you.

Curing depression with pain. You could probably sell that idea on the talk show circuit!

Heh. It sometimes works for me!

Another good day. Wallybee's uncle (her father's younger brother) and his wife is in town. Their son, Wallybee's cousin, lives in Melbourne too. He and his wife had a little girl a couple of months after Ryan was born, so the grandparents are visiting.

We had them all over for lunch today, serving steak diane. The two babies played together, or at least adjacent. Wallybee's parents were especially happy to talk with family from home. (I understood almost nothing, especially since they spoke Shanghainese a lot of the time, but I believe exchange rates came up at one time. Wallybee's uncle runs an export business, so they're of interest to him.)

so now I have a very happy family. Even Ryan seemed in better spirits than usual after having so much attention lavished on him (and he's normally a very good-natured baby). A happy family makes for a happy billytea.

None of this explains why I was watching Scrubs - Medical School, but it serves as a corrective at least.