asthma -- but it is not necessarily chronic.

RIght -- it could be infection-related or post-infectious asthma.

What do I do here? This is intolerable.

Oh, Zenkitty. That sucks so hard. Have you tried adding anything to the Wellbutrin? Sometimes that works.

Steph, I added Deplin last fall, and that worked really well - I felt much better. Until just recently. I guess, objectively, it's only been a week or two, but it's hard not panic. Usually for me this kind of mental retreat is triggered by my not wanting to deal with something unpleasant. Maybe I'm just suffering from a massive case of cabin fever. Maybe I'll go take a long drive in the mountains tomorrow if it's sunny at all. That might help. Fuck, I really don't want to add more drugs. It's never helped before - except for the Deplin, which technically is a vitamin - and I don't think I've got the emotional strength right now for another round of Russian roulette with brain drugs.

Zen, I think getting out of the house is key. Actually, I was going to suggest a gym, or making a firm commitment to walking, either in your neighborhood, or drive to a good place to walk (and yes, I know how silly that sounds). Exercize will get things moving, and oxygenating your brain alone can be energizing and lift your mood.

And from experience, if I'm whinging over sore muscles and strained joints, I don't notice the mental pain as much.

Beverly, you're probably right. I'm a hermit by nature; I hadn't realized how long it's been since I left the house for more than a quick run to the grocery.

Hmm. Curing depression with pain. You could probably sell that idea on the talk show circuit!

Health~ma would be appreciated. My body isn't very good at fighting infections. I've picked one up and I've helpfully been ignoring it since Friday. Yesterday it got really bad and now I'm being sent to a walk-in centre at the hospital, because out-of-hours doctors only make house calls "in extreme circumstances", and being disabled and too unwell to move apparently doesn't count. So now I have to go and sit in a cold waiting room full of sick people who could infect me further. Nice. No-more-pain~ma particularly appreciated!

Ginger, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's brother. Many good thoughts for his family. How wonderful of his sister to take his children into her home. There are good people in this world.

Zenkitty, thinking of you. Depression spirals are hell. Do you have a good doctor? They should be able to make suggestions. You may need a different anti-depressant, rather than a higher dose. There are also options that aren't antidepressants - my miracle drug was a bipolar med that they also sometimes give to unipolar types. You could get your doc to explore the more unusual options with you. Much ~ma for you.

Curing depression with pain. You could probably sell that idea on the talk show circuit!

Heh. It sometimes works for me!

Another good day. Wallybee's uncle (her father's younger brother) and his wife is in town. Their son, Wallybee's cousin, lives in Melbourne too. He and his wife had a little girl a couple of months after Ryan was born, so the grandparents are visiting.

We had them all over for lunch today, serving steak diane. The two babies played together, or at least adjacent. Wallybee's parents were especially happy to talk with family from home. (I understood almost nothing, especially since they spoke Shanghainese a lot of the time, but I believe exchange rates came up at one time. Wallybee's uncle runs an export business, so they're of interest to him.)

so now I have a very happy family. Even Ryan seemed in better spirits than usual after having so much attention lavished on him (and he's normally a very good-natured baby). A happy family makes for a happy billytea.

None of this explains why I was watching Scrubs - Medical School, but it serves as a corrective at least.

Much ~ma to the many Buffistas in need thereof.

I'm glad you had a good family day, BT.

I just got up, and I'm eating breakfast. Did you know that if you slice open a stale scone, slather it with butter, and pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds, the result is reminiscent of shortbread? That's the sort of discovery I like to have at the beginning of the day.

I have antibiotics. And an ongoing kidney stone problem, apparently. Another EDS hazard, I'm told. Hurrah. We're ordering curry and I'm doped up on dihydrocodeine.

Yay for a happy Ryan and family!

Did you know that if you slice open a stale scone, slather it with butter, and pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds, the result is reminiscent of shortbread?

I'm going to try this.

Fuck cancer. Much ~ma to your BFF, those kids, and all who loved the man, Ginger.

Zenkitty, if there is any possibility that there is a seasonal component to your depression, it may simply get worse in the later part of winter or spring. It takes some people that way. In which case, getting out more in whatever sun is available may help. Another thing to ponder is your vitamin D levels, especially if you have aches and pains. Also, if at all possible, please do talk to your doctor - that weight gain does not sound like the typical "not as young as you used to be" spread. I'm thinking thyroid issues, but there are other possibilities as well. If your regular physical includes the run of the mill TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone), you might want to ask the doctor to test specifically for T3 and T4 (actual amounts of thyroid hormones).

ETA: a sentence fragment, to make it actually coherent.

Seska, I'm glad they could help you. Boo on the kidney stone - and lots of ~ma to you in passing it.