Vick needs to be a loudly obnoxious End Dog Fighting activist for me to begin to take his apology seriously.

I want him as un-shut-up-able as an omnisexual college freshman feminist vegan nader-voting socialist communist virgin lefty raised by Baptist Mormon Jehovah's Witness Jews for Jesus radical veiled Muslims.

Light saber chopsticks! [link]

I think this is the last session Dylan will be taking at our current pool. The first instructor we were with was great, but she has been replaced by a gentleman who reminds me of a Vogon ship's guard. Too much shouting, very little else.

And he berates the parents who respect their toddlers' wishes not to be dunked, saying that if you don't do it, your kids will always be afraid of the water. To which I say - bullshit. I know my kid, and I know that he needs to trust me in order to get in the pool in the first damn place. And if that means he doesn't put his head underwater this week? His head stays dry.

she has been replaced by a gentleman who reminds me of a Vogon ship's guard. Too much shouting, very little else.

Be thankful there's no poetry reading.

Oh no, Jess, go ahead and scare him, that's MUCH better...

One thing I often had success with (and my Sister who is teaching still does) is when they don't want to go in or don't want to go under is to non-spashily get them wet by patting water on them. I think sometimes they're worried that its cold or they just aren't feeling playful.

Even if they end up never doing what they're "supposed" to do that day they had fun in the water instead of that lesson being a battle or a failure or abandoned completely.

I loved water, I loved swimming. I had swimming instructors that talked about the octopus when they had us jump into deep water. I knew it didn't exists -- it was a lake -- but I just thought they were mean. And they yelled. I was old enough to separate the sport for the instructors, but I am sure that a toddler needs that

I want him as un-shut-up-able as an omnisexual college freshman feminist vegan nader-voting socialist communist virgin lefty raised by Baptist Mormon Jehovah's Witness Jews for Jesus radical veiled Muslims.

I love Trudy. As much as she loves Tao.

I don't dive, and am physically incapable of doing it (seriously, the body just reacts) because of one instructor who thought the best way to overcome my trepidation was to flip my feet out from under me. Me, who is and was wary to trust to begin with. Yeah, big old NO.

My mom is a lousy swimmer, mainly because her mother was a good one & a sailor. Mom is bad at any math algebra and up, because her mom was the teacher. See a theme? (Wonder where I get my contrary from???)

So today I: walked to the market, bought more cherry tomatoes of various varieties and peaches and plums and cukes than I can possibly consume. Then I: went to the salvage place and went through 3 warehouses (missed the sinks one) and dug through eons worth of strike plates and didn't find what I was looking for. Didn't find my tile, either. Then I went out to Ellicott City and got my hair cut and caught my lovely hairdresser up on my trip & shenanigans and combed through more antique store's hardware bins, fruitlessly. Then I did a Target and TJs run and forgot hummus, which I am living on at the moment. Then I came home and vacuumed and mopped, showered again, and now I'm doing laundry.

I still need to borrow a saw and finish mauling my stupid bush, hit up Home Despot, and I just discovered my brother gave me a $100 Bloodbath&Beyond card (I thought it was for $25, that's what I told him I needed!) so I might splurge and get another queen sized set of my fancypants beech sheets.

Can I have a cookie??

::passes cookies to sarameg AND msbelle, because she needs them, too::

I cannot dive. As comfortable as I am in the water, that's the one thing I am apparently not wired for. I used to be able to, thanks in part to my dad teaching me like a drill instructor (this is why he decided *not* to teach music, in the end, because he's a crappy teacher).

But I realized years later, as an adult, I can't even do a dive from a sitting position. *Cannot* go into the water headfirst. I can *be* underwater, but I just can't make myself go in that way. Very strange.

And Jess, yeah. You know your kid. I hate instructors who think one way is going to work for every kid.

I hate instructors who think one way is going to work for every kid.

I'm going to posit that works for almost NO kid. It's sucky. The only possible positive scenario I can see is if there is some sort of ducking 'game' to it. And even then you have to nix the game if they're not into it.

I've taught a lot of children to swim. I've taught a handfull of fearful adults as well who even if they didn't get over their anxiety completely became much more comfortable and capable in the water. If any of you ever wants to work on it let me know.