Christian Broadcasting Network Warns Against 'Demonic' Halloween Candy
AHAHAHA! That cracked me up. Remember when it was just urban legends about razor blades in apples?
Oh, yeah. There was this time I was pinned down by this guy that played left tackle for varsity... Well, at least he used to before he was a vampire... Anyway, he had this really, really thick neck, and all I had was a little, little Exact-O knife ... You're not loving this story.
Buffy ,'Beneath You'
Natter 64: Yes, we still need you
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
smonster - Oct 29, 2009 10:45:57 am PDT #15949 of 30001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.
tommyrot - Oct 29, 2009 10:51:19 am PDT #15950 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
I want to work for a candy company. Specifically, I want to be one of the witches who gets to dedicate and pray over the candy.
Gudanov - Oct 29, 2009 10:53:08 am PDT #15951 of 30001
Coding and Sleeping
I want to work for a candy company. Specifically, I want to be one of the witches who gets to dedicate and pray over the candy.
It's just seasonal work.
Jessica - Oct 29, 2009 10:54:25 am PDT #15952 of 30001
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
That's just what the candy-poisoning witch cabal wants you to think!!
tommyrot - Oct 29, 2009 10:55:26 am PDT #15953 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
It's just seasonal work.
Yeah, but they must have other witch-related work to do the rest of the year. I mean, there's the War on Christmas, the War on Easter, the War on Arbor day (because it's the only holiday not about getting laid)....
Lee - Oct 29, 2009 10:55:43 am PDT #15954 of 30001
The feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.
It's just seasonal work.
But then you can moonlight as testers for the godless foreign candy in the off season.
Calli - Oct 29, 2009 10:57:08 am PDT #15955 of 30001
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.
Well, yeah. How do you think we can afford to wage the war on Christmas? We sell cursed Halloween candy. It's simple capitalism, people.
msbelle - Oct 29, 2009 11:05:03 am PDT #15956 of 30001
I remember the crazy days. 500 posts an hour. Nubmer! Natgbsb
people are RIDIC! that is hilarious.
tommyrot - Oct 29, 2009 11:05:38 am PDT #15957 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
The actual CBN blog post: The Danger of Celebrating Halloween
The word "holiday" means "holy day." But there is nothing holy about Halloween. The root word of Halloween is "hallow," which means "holy, consecrated and set apart for service." If this holiday is hallowed, whose service is it set apart for? The answer to that question is very easy—Lucifer's!
Lucifer is a part of the demonic godhead. Remember, everything God has, the devil has a counterfeit. Halloween is a counterfeit holy day that is dedicated to celebrating the demonic trinity of : the Luciferian Spirit (the false father); the Antichrist Spirit (the false holy spirit); and the Spirit of Belial (the false son).
Wait, this is getting complicated.
The key word in discussing Halloween is "dedicated." It is dedicated to darkness and is an accursed season. During Halloween, time-released curses are always loosed. A time-released curse is a period that has been set aside to release demonic activity and to ensnare souls in great measure.
Like time-release pills? Cool!
Even the colors of Halloween (orange, brown and dark red) are dedicated. These colors are connected to the fall equinox, which is around the 20th or 21st of September each year and is sometimes called "Mabon." During this season witches are celebrating the changing of the seasons from summer to fall. They give praise to the gods for the demonic harvest. They pray to the gods of the elements (air, fire, water and earth).
Mother earth is highly celebrated during the fall demonic harvest. Witches praise mother earth by bringing her fruits, nuts and herbs. Demons are loosed during these acts of worship. When nice church folk lay out their pumpkins on the church lawn, fill their baskets with nuts and herbs, and fire up their bonfires, the demons get busy. They have no respect for the church grounds. They respect only the sacrifice and do not care if it comes from believers or non-believers.
...
Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats. It is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon.
So... she's prayed for zero witches?
The danger of Halloween is not in the scary things we see but in the secret, wicked, cruel activities that go on behind the scenes. These activities include:
* Sex with demons
* Orgies between animals and humans
* Animal and human sacrifices
* Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
* Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
* Revel nights
* Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
* Release of "time-released" curses against the innocent and the ignorant.
Gudanov - Oct 29, 2009 11:10:28 am PDT #15958 of 30001
Coding and Sleeping
Boy, the Halloween parties she goes too are a lot different than the ones I've been to.