Um....
Christian Broadcasting Network Warns Against 'Demonic' Halloween Candy
"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."
"Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."
eta: Check out the satirical section on "Evil Candy".
Red Hots:
As Kenneth Parcell says, "Hot is the devil's temperature." These tiny treats have Satan written all over them.
Christian Broadcasting Network Warns Against 'Demonic' Halloween Candy
AHAHAHA! That cracked me up. Remember when it was just urban legends about razor blades in apples?
I want to work for a candy company. Specifically, I want to be one of the witches who gets to dedicate and pray over the candy.
That's just what the candy-poisoning witch cabal wants you to think!!
It's just seasonal work.
Yeah, but they must have other witch-related work to do the rest of the year. I mean, there's the War on Christmas, the War on Easter, the War on Arbor day (because it's the only holiday not about getting laid)....
It's just seasonal work.
But then you can moonlight as testers for the godless foreign candy in the off season.
For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.
Well, yeah. How do you think we can afford to wage the war on Christmas? We sell cursed Halloween candy. It's simple capitalism, people.
people are RIDIC! that is hilarious.
