On one level grudges take a lot of initial energy, but then very little maintenance or follow up. In my family, we're not especially grudgey and frankly, I'm too tired to really grudgehold. How does anyone have the energy for it?
Now we're saving a vampire from vampires. I got two words for that -- Nuh and uh.
Gunn ,'Underneath'
Natter 64: Yes, we still need you
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Kat - Oct 26, 2009 7:08:59 pm PDT #15440 of 30001
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo
Connie Neil - Oct 26, 2009 7:30:12 pm PDT #15441 of 30001
brillig
How does anyone have the energy for it?
It gives the truly bitter a reason to live. They need the bile and the drama as sustenance.
Burrell - Oct 26, 2009 7:37:19 pm PDT #15442 of 30001
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
On one level grudges take a lot of initial energy, but then very little maintenance or follow up.
So true.
Plus being the one to take the step towards reconciling is HARD.
Burrell - Oct 26, 2009 7:43:28 pm PDT #15443 of 30001
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
It gives the truly bitter a reason to live. They need the bile and the drama as sustenance.
I dunno. I mean, yeah, I agree about the bitter--it's hard to feed a grudge without turning a bit bitter. But I know a lot of grudge holders that aren't into the drama at all. It's more like they have such a fragile sense of self that they need to hold onto the grudges to ensure that their identity remains fixed and stable.
-t - Oct 26, 2009 7:52:18 pm PDT #15444 of 30001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
Once you've held a grudge for a while, I imagine it is as comfortable and comforting as any habit. Some people probably slip into that faster and more easily than others.
Scrappy - Oct 26, 2009 7:59:12 pm PDT #15445 of 30001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
My FiL did not speak to his sister for 30 years over an argument with his BiL. When I first met J, 15 years ago, the estrangement was still in full force and you could invite one or the other to any gathering, but not both.
All of a sudden a few years ago, they started speaking, then meeting and now they are all BFFs. They go on vacations together and talk all the time and make time to spend together. Both men claim that they "don't know" why they were estranged so long.
Typo Boy - Oct 26, 2009 8:44:51 pm PDT #15446 of 30001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
Off to new Ear Nose and Throat woman. Maybe she can figure out what has been causing frequent sinus headaches and nosebleeds.
Oh and on topic a bit: Our family does a thing where if two people are really on the outs the declare each other dead. I think this is a Jewish thing... (though probably not exclusively Jewish).
Also: trip to Tumwater to pick up package at UPS. Saw "Lord's Gym" sign above an "Inferno Pizza" sign.
Polter-Cow - Oct 26, 2009 9:25:53 pm PDT #15447 of 30001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Halloween
Halloween
Candy corn for lunch and dinner
Halloween
What a scream
Do all your shopping
At Wal-Mart!
Matt the Bruins fan - Oct 26, 2009 11:44:21 pm PDT #15448 of 30001
Oh honey, the mentally unwell people have been in the fanbase since Game Changers was Stucky fanfiction on the internet. The calls have been coming from inside the house the whole time!
I've not been close with a certain aunt since she and my mom had a dust-up during my grandmother's hospitalization that could easily have landed her in the adjoining bed if my uncle hadn't been there. Mom's since reconciled with her, but I just haven't had any use for her in two decades, and don't regret the lack of contact at all.
Calli - Oct 27, 2009 1:23:01 am PDT #15449 of 30001
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
My paternal grandfather pretty much ignored me when I was a kid. He wasn't overtly hateful or anything, but I was his last chance at a grandson and lacked that all-important Y chromosome. My big sister was great about it, though. He'd give her a $20 (ignoring me) and, completely unprompted, she'd split it with me. (And I was not a particularly charming little sister.)
Then I turned 12 and was the spitting image of my paternal grandmother. She'd died by then and grandpa had married her utter nemesis. And all of a sudden, there was a younger version of her visiting on holidays, reading books and occasionally shooting him hurt looks over the top of the pages. Freaked. Him. Out. Good times.
He started giving me $20s, too.