Rats, I lost track of time grading homework and missed the beginning up until they were opening the Case of OldTimey Spy Funtimes. (Coulson's nerd glee! so adorable!) Did I miss anything interesting?

Yes, I was done with Ward so very long ago. Maybe next episode, Fitz will lose it and push him out of the plane without a parachute.

...then again, this being a comics universe, that would just mean a bizarre resurrection. Um.

Skye is so much more tolerable when she's far, far away from Ward. It's kind of amazing.

Young Ward was no more interesting than old Ward. And yeah, if that was supposed to make Ward more sympathetic, it totally didn't work.

I just would like a show about May and Coulson traveling around the world, kicking ass and taking names. They can bring Tripp along, too, because he's pretty and he has fun toys.

I will be PISSED if the show redeems him.

And I thought that this flashbacky episode was supposed to show us why Ward "owes Garrett everything" (that might not be an exact quote, but he said something like it to Raina a few episodes back). But I seriously didn't get that from the flashbacks.

The show's doing some interesting things with audience expectations in that regard. When he let the dog go, I thought, oh, see, he won't kill a dog, so I guess he's not TOTALLY evil and so he will eventual—oh I see okay that's how it's going to be.

Without Garrett, he would have been stuck in juvie and not become an awesome double agent killer dude, so I'd say, yes, he owes him everything.

GARRET WAS THE FIRST DEATHLOK HOLY CRAP.

Also: "Get ready for a large file transfer." This show.

Dear Show, Stop Trying To Make Ward Happen.

God, yes.

I knew that dog was dead the moment I saw him. So much of that Ward backstory was so on the nose that I think it could have been dealt with in one flashback.

I keep wishing Ruth Negga was cast as Skye.

Are you trying to kill me? I was eating ice cream.

I'm just jealous because I don't have any ice cream.

No one has said anything about Fitz and Simmons -- is that because everyone is assuming their giant metal sarcophagus is airtight and has enough oxygen to last until they're somehow rescued and is not, in, fact, a quickly sinking death trap filling with water?

Without Garrett, he would have been stuck in juvie and not become an awesome double agent killer dude, so I'd say, yes, he owes him everything.

See, Tim said that, too, but all I got from that is "Ward helped me through the ranks of The Evil League of Evil, so yay!" I thought it would be at least a little more genuinely rescue-y and/or sympathetic on Garrett's part. Sure, Garrett (shit, is it 1 "t" or 2?) got him out of juvie, but...eh, I was expecting more.

Also: "Get ready for a large file transfer." This show.

That was awesome.

No one has said anything about Fitz and Simmons -- is that because everyone is assuming their giant metal sarcophagus is airtight and has enough oxygen to last until they're somehow rescued and is not, in, fact, a quickly sinking death trap filling with water?

Well....yeah. I mean why else show the cabinet being dropped into the ocean vs crashing to little bits on top of a mountain or something?

"Get ready for a large file transfer."

I loled.

I mean why else show the cabinet being dropped into the ocean vs crashing to little bits on top of a mountain or something?

Well, it seemed like it had the potential for horrible watery death.

AVC reminded me that Fitz has the quarter walkie-talkie/beacon in his pocket. But yeah, I expect they'll be fine.

I knew that dog was dead the moment I saw him. So much of that Ward backstory was so on the nose that I think it could have been dealt with in one flashback.

I hate to be a cliche crazy dog lady but I knew it too, as soon as I saw that beautiful Chocolate.

I hoped I was wrong, but when I was not, I broke up with the show. Honestly. It was cheap, unnecessary emo-wringing and, frankly, working with abused dogs, like I have, I don't need to see the audience being schooled in how to prove you are tough by killing a loyal creature.

The 'yeah but they're evil' argument gives me no peace.

Feh.

Dear Show, Stop Trying To Make Ward Happen.

Totally, and completely that.

Again, I say FEH.