fucking eyeball implant nooooooo.

I was all "Shit, those burns, oh hell, his leg...eyeball implant WTF NOOOOOOOO!!!"

I wanted the show to keep JAR, but...dang.

I figured when he got blowed up at the end of the previous episode that JAR was a) not dead and b) going to be turned into one of the eyeball surgery double agents because they have spent so much time on it, showing us how it worked, giving us Akeelah (or whatever her name is and now I just want her to be a really good speller), etc. The biggest HSQ moment for me was that he was down part of a leg. Poor noodle. And now we get to keep him around as an unwilling SHIELD enemy, so that's all gravy.

I realize that I like Skye more the less she is around Ward (and vice versa). They should keep separating those two because they just don't click together but I like them with other people. I'm intrigued by the slightly darker Fitz and how that is going to affect his relationship with Simmons. More of that, yes.

The Coulson thing was a let down. I hope there is actually more to it than that at some point because if not, the pay off was not big enough to have to sit through "It's a magical place" eleventy million times.

Also, I really don't want Melinda to turn out to be Skye's bio-mom so I'm hoping the whole Skye-as-May dress up fun we had tonight is a misdirect on that whole thing. And that's another mystery that needs to advance PDQ because it's getting kind old stalled in first gear.

Also, also, I'm not feeling the Clairvoyant's minions. Well, minion now, I guess, since they killed the dude via cell phone poisoning or something. That girl is annoying. And she needs a new hook because "I wear flowered dresses" is not as interesting as they seem to think it is.

I had a lot to say about the show but I'm really just kind of mildly amused by it, not loving it. Huh.

I'm wondering now if we're looking for more depth and clues than we're supposed to as well. It is an early-evening comic book show, after all, not a deep, intricate drama.

I'm definitely hoping no one on the Bus is related to Skye. Maybe Melinda killed Skye's folks. I like her using Melinda as a template for badassery.

The changes in Fitz are very interesting. Poor Simmons seems very dismayed.

That girl is annoying. And she needs a new hook because "I wear flowered dresses" is not as interesting as they seem to think it is.

Honestly, I was impressed that she played Coulson well enough to get him into the brain reading machine dealie.

She knows how to play to what her target wants.

She reminds me of Lorelei Martins on the mentalist.

Honestly, I was impressed that she played Coulson well enough to get him into the brain reading machine dealie.

It didn't even really seem that hard, though. It mainly consisted of her killing the dude who had been trying to torture Coulson into using the machine and then saying, "You don't know what happened to you, really, but you want to know. Don't you? Well, don't you? You know you do...go on, get in the machine. It won't bite. It's just like riding a surfboard." And then, bam. He was ready to get in the machine with very minimal fuss. Eh, maybe that flowered dress is doing more than I thought it was.

I just don't like her. But then, I haven't liked her since she ramped up her presence on the show in earnest with fire hands dude. I feel like we are just supposed to accept that she is super competent and devious plus mysterious and sexy/dangerous just because they say she is and people keep doing what she says. Now even the Clairvoyant wants to be down with her even though a few episodes ago dead minion claimed that the Clairvoyant didn't talk to anyone but him. Maybe this girl got a secret makeover from Freddie Prinze, Jr. like that girl in She's All That and now she's irresistible and also does spoken word performance art in her undies. She persuaded Coulson by subliminally telling him to be silent, be still. Makes as much sense as anything else.

The flowers on the dress have a hypnotic effect?

Poor Mike Petersen.

Also, the thing with Coulson has to be something about the super soldier serum, right? Ever since Erskine died in Captain America, people have been trying to recreate it, but it keeps going wrong. That's how you got the Hulk, that's how you got Extremis, that's how you get the Centipede people who were blowing up.