I'm having a few people over to watch Dollhouse tonight, and I am so disorganized and mad at myself. I've really done very well being organized and calm-ish for our last couple get togethers.

and frankly, I prefer to kinda zone out and not HAVE to talk, but I also don't want to be "zombie girl who gave no feedback at all"

I think that's totally cool! I love my massuese because, although she is super chatty in general, when she's giving a massage it's all golden silence. I only talk if the pressure is too much (I'm a sensitive flower sometimes). and then afterwards I tell her how awesome it was!

And hell yeah I tip her!!! So worth it.

I got a hug from Nichelle Nichols last night. You may all now be jealous.

is jealous

Mind you, she's probably telling all her friends: "Hey, I got a hug from Sean last night!" And they're all: "Aw, man! You lucky baggage!"

How you doing, Mr Sean?

...so, on an entirely different note - who's got much experience of going to Cons? Do we think it would be cool or ghastly, going to the All Hell Breaks Loose convention in Australia? I'd just get a day pass, if I went - but, really, I don't know what they can be doing for 2 days, other than having a big Beatlemania-style squeefest at the Js and at Misha Collins. And I don't know whether that might make me want to stick my head in a gas oven. Still - SPN convention in my hemisphere, with the guys who play the Winchesters and their Angel. Gotta cross a girl's mind.

I got a hug from Nichelle Nichols last night. You may all now be jealous.

I shall lick you. Nichelle Nichols is seriously foamy, and seems to get foamier as time goes on.

How you doing, Mr Sean?

Meh. Busy as hell with work right now. Have been since the start of the year. I'm currently working on a show called Stormy Weather, which is about the life of Lena Horne. It stars Leslie Uggams as Lena, and that's how I got to meet Uhura last night -- she and Dionne Warwick had stopped by after the show to see Leslie. So yeah, I got to meet Dionne Warwick briefly as well last night, but I was way more impressed by meeting (and getting a hug from) Nichelle.

Work was really busy through January, as it was the Tech From Hell, but now that we're open, it's a little better. We still do EIGHT shows a week, and my only real day off is Monday.

At home, well.... Things have been rocky. Have been for a very long time now, but it's been really bad of late. S and I are continuing this process of breaking up that's been going on since last August (and got interrupted by the Extended Hospital Stay From Hell). We're packing up most of her stuff to put into storage (the storage pod arrives this Monday), and trying to get ready to ship her off to Texas.

This has made our already stressful relationship even more stressful, and has produced screaming fights almost daily. The fights aren't always counter productive, because they usually end with us actually communicating and trying to figure out what went so horribly wrong (both in the fight, and in the relationship in general), but it's adding more stress to a situation that passed Unbearably Stressful a long time ago.

Basically, we're trying to go through this breakup process in my almost nonexistent spare time.

There's been good stuff recently -- I've been making a bunch of new friends on the show, and I've been going out occasionally (something that's been a rare occurrence over the last four years).

There's been other good stuff, too, but I'ma have to remain a little more cryptic about that for now.

Nichelle Nichols is seriously foamy, and seems to get foamier as time goes on.

WORD! She is one seriously beautiful woman. And what a presence!

I only hope I was successful in my attempt to be the least annoying Star Trek geek she's ever met.

~coping ma to you, Sean.

It's SO difficult and painful. There's still moments when I look at S and all I feel is the deep love for her that I've always felt.

But we just cannot communicate. There's so many ways we just rub each other the wrong way, and right now those are always in the places that are the most raw, so it takes so little for something to turn into a fight. And there's so many things we do to each other that make us both want to get the hell away from each other as fast as we can.

And then I look at her, and feel that love again, and I just feel every kind of broken. It's why I like not being at home right now, even when work sucks. It's the time when my life isn't a constant exhausting emotional roller coaster.

I have a "date" with my Dad, as soon as we can find the time, to have a long discussion about what it was like for him going through the divorce with my mom.

{{{Sean}}}

{{{{{Sean}}}}}