Not to mention the societal acceptance and approbation that skinny people get even if they don't have those habits. The most slender, sylphlike and unearthly beautiful two women I've ever known both lived on coffee, cigarettes and french fries; one of them, IIRC, did a bit of yoga and both did just about as much exercise as anyone without a driver's license does in walking-friendly urban areas but not a bit more. And both were petted and loved and their health care providers, teachers, yoga instructors, etc. etc. etc. didn't say boo about their shitty dietary habits and poor strength and endurance.

Yeah. The disconnect is great enough that I'm pretty sure that most of the time people AREN'T concerned with the "health" of whomever they're criticizing, they just don't like them being fat and saying "its about your health!" is a handy excuse.

Ducked out to church and come back to a lot of food (non-fattening) for thought.

A lot of what's promoted as healthy I find doubtful. And so much of what's regarded as healthy is based on appearances - as in JZ's friends who looked fine but weren't.

It's like - although I think worse than - the anti-smoking campaign. Up through my 20s, the great majority of people smoked. They could - and did - smoke just about anywhere: offices, restaurants, even hospitals. Then the anti-smoking campaign got going and smoking was gradually forbidden just about anywhere inside; you'd see bunches of smokers huddled outdoors in all kinds of weather. Now I'm seeing signs prohibiting smoking outdoors in places; some corporate campuses forbid smoking anywhere on their grounds; and I've heard efforts to punish people who smoke at home. At this point I think it's gone too far - but the same kind of over enthusiasm has taken over.

My co-worker just told me that she's been meaning to tell me for a while that she thought I had Asperger's. I'm really hard to offend, and I think I'm mildly offended!

(She admits it's an exaggeration her part, and she's mostly referring to the fact that I often just stare at her without responding, which is a conscious choice on my part because she's a weird one and knows it.)

(I'm giving her shit about it now. It's hilarious. See, why would I want to leave here?)

Ok, P-C, that's bizarre and intrusive on her part. I shall now roll my eyes in her general direction, in much the same fashion that I roll my eyes at my skinny coworker who complains to me about how fat she is.

Teppy--thank for clarifying, I agree with you. My Dad's doctor told us (after his second heart attack) that it was useless for us to talk to him about smoking and could actually be counterproductive. It made the problem between him and us rather than between him and his needs, and anyone would rather argue with someone else than with themselves. It was his problem to solve.

I have tried to not get all preachy with people ever since, although I have horrible, mortifying, bossy tendendcies in that direction. For the same reason I try to avoid correcting people's grammar (unless asked).

I didn't say anything about legislation. If I did, please point it out.

You were responding directly to a question about seatbelt laws. Not seatbelt etiquette. I understood your response to be related to legislation.

Speaking of health, Joe and I are on the countdown to quitting. 2.5 more days. Monday morning we will wake up and not be smokers!!

Ok, P-C, that's bizarre and intrusive on her part. I shall now roll my eyes in her general direction, in much the same fashion that I roll my eyes at my skinny coworker who complains to me about how fat she is.

Oh, it's just how she is. She was only being half-serious. Now she wants me to diagnose her. Her gay BFF says she's a narcissist.

You were responding directly to a question about seatbelt laws. Not seatbelt etiquette. I understood your response to be related to legislation.

That's where I got confused as well.

That's wonderful, Aims. My brother quit about a month ago. He is using some kind of lozengers this time. I know it's tough. Just picture me down here waving sparkly pom poms in the air cheering you both on in the effort.

I have tried to not get all preachy with people ever since, although I have horrible, mortifying, bossy tendendcies in that direction. For the same reason I try to avoid correcting people's grammar (unless asked).

While I am in mommy!bossy mode: Keep away from toxic relationships and soul sucking jobs. Also, books are better than WoW. If in doubt about your self-destructive behavior just ask and tell you to mend your ways. I'd check with someone else on the grammar stuff though.

You were responding directly to a question about seatbelt laws. Not seatbelt etiquette. I understood your response to be related to legislation.

That's where I got confused as well.

Okay, but here's the entirety of what I said in response to that question:

"If someone chooses not to do something that I, personally, do, it's really not my place to get in their face about it."

I assumed that referring to "my place" made it clear that I was speaking about my own behavior regarding the people who don't wear seatbelts/play 18 hours of WoW/eat Twinkies. The only way "my place" could refer to laws is if I were a governmental body. Which I am not.

I thought I was being clear, but obviously I wasn't.

t edit I don't even know what "seatbelt etiquette" is.