Ah, okay, thanks for clarifying. Sorry for misinterpreting.

I have to think about influencing people to make good choices enough as a parent; I don't need to add friends and strangers to the list. That said, you are not my kids, but don't smoke, don't drink or do drugs (in excess), make healthy food choices, and exercise! Also, wear your seat belts and helmets, and stay away from unprotected sex, and dirty needles. If you choose to, because I love you and want you to live a long and healthy life. t /mommymode

Half my family left early this morning for a basketball tournament in Orlando. I made up 12 little Easter baskets for DH to give to the team on Sunday since they won't be home. Now to figure out what Bobby and I will do for the holiday. There may be junk food.

Ah, okay, thanks for clarifying.

Ditto. I gotcha now.

Nobody will tell me how to force the healthy habits to actually produce the societal acceptance and approbation that skinny people get for having those habits.

Not to mention the societal acceptance and approbation that skinny people get even if they don't have those habits. The most slender, sylphlike and unearthly beautiful two women I've ever known both lived on coffee, cigarettes and french fries; one of them, IIRC, did a bit of yoga and both did just about as much exercise as anyone without a driver's license does in walking-friendly urban areas but not a bit more. And both were petted and loved and their health care providers, teachers, yoga instructors, etc. etc. etc. didn't say boo about their shitty dietary habits and poor strength and endurance.

Healthy habits are a great ideal, and a societal shift to encouraging them is great, but there's no way to tell just from looking at most people whether they have those habits. And yet, we don't hesitate to look and to judge. It's not accurate, it's unfairly shaming to people like WS, and it also does a serious disservice to people like my two friends who needed help and weren't getting it because they looked thin+pretty=ideal=already perfectly healthy. Bah on all of it.

Not to mention the societal acceptance and approbation that skinny people get even if they don't have those habits. The most slender, sylphlike and unearthly beautiful two women I've ever known both lived on coffee, cigarettes and french fries; one of them, IIRC, did a bit of yoga and both did just about as much exercise as anyone without a driver's license does in walking-friendly urban areas but not a bit more. And both were petted and loved and their health care providers, teachers, yoga instructors, etc. etc. etc. didn't say boo about their shitty dietary habits and poor strength and endurance.

Yeah. The disconnect is great enough that I'm pretty sure that most of the time people AREN'T concerned with the "health" of whomever they're criticizing, they just don't like them being fat and saying "its about your health!" is a handy excuse.

Ducked out to church and come back to a lot of food (non-fattening) for thought.

A lot of what's promoted as healthy I find doubtful. And so much of what's regarded as healthy is based on appearances - as in JZ's friends who looked fine but weren't.

It's like - although I think worse than - the anti-smoking campaign. Up through my 20s, the great majority of people smoked. They could - and did - smoke just about anywhere: offices, restaurants, even hospitals. Then the anti-smoking campaign got going and smoking was gradually forbidden just about anywhere inside; you'd see bunches of smokers huddled outdoors in all kinds of weather. Now I'm seeing signs prohibiting smoking outdoors in places; some corporate campuses forbid smoking anywhere on their grounds; and I've heard efforts to punish people who smoke at home. At this point I think it's gone too far - but the same kind of over enthusiasm has taken over.

My co-worker just told me that she's been meaning to tell me for a while that she thought I had Asperger's. I'm really hard to offend, and I think I'm mildly offended!

(She admits it's an exaggeration her part, and she's mostly referring to the fact that I often just stare at her without responding, which is a conscious choice on my part because she's a weird one and knows it.)

(I'm giving her shit about it now. It's hilarious. See, why would I want to leave here?)

Ok, P-C, that's bizarre and intrusive on her part. I shall now roll my eyes in her general direction, in much the same fashion that I roll my eyes at my skinny coworker who complains to me about how fat she is.

Teppy--thank for clarifying, I agree with you. My Dad's doctor told us (after his second heart attack) that it was useless for us to talk to him about smoking and could actually be counterproductive. It made the problem between him and us rather than between him and his needs, and anyone would rather argue with someone else than with themselves. It was his problem to solve.

I have tried to not get all preachy with people ever since, although I have horrible, mortifying, bossy tendendcies in that direction. For the same reason I try to avoid correcting people's grammar (unless asked).

I didn't say anything about legislation. If I did, please point it out.

You were responding directly to a question about seatbelt laws. Not seatbelt etiquette. I understood your response to be related to legislation.