Gah. Not related to sj's friend, but I just got a facebook message from my cousin. One of our (very distantly) related cousins has brain cancer and is going into hospice. I am of course sad for that branch of the family and will be keeping them in my thoughts.
My uncle's wife, however, takes these things (she did the same with some health issues my dad's cousin's husband was having) and turns them into some sort of email prayer tree request extravaganza. (When it was dad's cousin's etc. she couldn't even spell his name right. It's B-O, the white trash way, not B-E-A-U, the middle class South Louisiana way). It drives me nuts.
Also driving me nuts about my cousin's email? My family is getting together over Easter to go through my grandparents' stuff. Now, I have everything I want of theirs: Grandandy's LPOA President's zippo and Mimi's recipes. There are rumors my dad is going (which, to be fair should be treated like rumors of Elvis sightings), so why is it I'm hearing about this from my cousin? And why only just now?
Sorry. I am apparently having family issues today.
I hope I didn't say anything too stupid on the phone. I honestly had no idea what to say, but I did promise her that I would keep calling her once a week.
DJ, I'm sorry about the family craziness and tons of ~ma to your cousin.
I hope I didn't say anything too stupid on the phone. I honestly had no idea what to say, but I did promise her that I would keep calling her once a week.
I don't think there is any right thing to say (and I'm sure you didn't say anything unkind, so I'm willing to bet you didn't say anything "wrong"). The only thing I can ever think to say in the face of news like that is a variation on "That really sucks. I'll be here for you in any way I can."
Thanks, DJ. I heard that she had taken a turn for the worse from a mutual friend, so I had to reassure her that I was in no way upset with her for not telling me a few times. I think I am going to send a letter to her and her husband as well. They've been very good to me over the years.
So sorry, sj. Fuck cancer and ass it in the ear to boot.
Fuck cancer, indeed. I hope she's gotten several opinions, because there are drugs that can vastly slow the growth of some types of metastasized breast cancer.
There is no right thing to say, except, as DJ says, variations on "that sucks" and avoiding any possible implication that there are any blessings in disguise involved. Tell her she can vent about anything to you, because sometimes you want to complain, but not to the people who see you all the time.
Fuck cancer, indeed. I hope she's gotten several opinions, because there are drugs that can vastly slow the growth of some types of metastasized breast cancer.
Thanks, Ginger. She's been fighting for three years, and from what I heard the cancer has just spread too far at this point. I believe she has had very good doctors.
fuck cancer, indeed!
and a serious frown in the general direction of family drama
