Steph- what I do in those situations is just say, when shown the picture, "Wow, that makes me really uncomfortable and I don't really find it funny (or I do not want to participate)." But, my office a) thinks I am really nice and b) thinks I am really weird. The fat talk comes up a lot because a) one employee hates her ex-husband, who is overweight and so she makes fun of him a lot b) I work with people who run a weight management center and c) my boss is constantly talking about her weight loss and wanting to be congratulated at her self control. I also did it when we were having our cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure levels checked "for fun".

Sophia, how do people respond when you say that? Because I'm afraid that if someone tells me "It's JUST a joke!" or "Don't be so sensitive!" that I will lose my shit.

and one is somewhat overweight and in her mid-thirties, so the older generation seems to have given up on her.

t rolls eyes at the older generation

I know that I have had panic attacks on Wellbutrin, but I can't say if they're related. (Although I never ever had a panic attack on Zoloft.)

I take a low dose (50mgs)of Zoloft every day with my (generic) Wellbutrin and it has done wonders for my anxiety.

cereal, because I ran away from my desk for an hour+ and forgot to send my previous message.

GOD, Steph. I don't know- it might be worth it to be known as the office bitch if people stopped doing it. Or at least stopped exposing it to you. I say call them on it. Easier said than done, I know. But otherwise... you're kind of passively accepting that this is OK.

Sophia, how do people respond when you say that? Because I'm afraid that if someone tells me "It's JUST a joke!" or "Don't be so sensitive!" that I will lose my shit.

You could just try sticking with "I don't find it funny."

Rather than what I would be tempted to do, which is to explain that "it's just a joke" is the lamest excuse in the history of the world.

Sophia, how do people respond when you say that? Because I'm afraid that if someone tells me "It's JUST a joke!" or "Don't be so sensitive!" that I will lose my shit.

I have been told it is just a joke, and I just sort of look at them and walk away-- you can't really make someone find a joke funny. No one has asked me to be less sensitive, because I am sort of known as being epically sensitive. I also don't get into the fact that I think THEY are being offensive-- just sort of act surprised and confused and hope they get it. I don't have the courage yet to be forceful-- I just sort of say it and walk away.

But otherwise... you're kind of passively accepting that this is OK.

I know. The problem is that Big!Boss's daughter (the instigator of this fuckwittery) is actually considered our superior, not a work peer, despite the fact that she's friendly and buddy-buddy. When push comes to shove, we were told that we may not question the decisions she makes about office procedure (changing our office hours, etc.) and that she's our "boss." I guess in an Office Manager type way.

Calling out a work peer is one thing, but calling out a superior is entirely different. Not morally, of course, but in terms of whether I want to keep my job.

Teppy, you should definitely say something. It's harrasment whether it is aimed at you or not.

Kristin, I hope you're feeling better today.

I have a panic attack hangover and I have to deal with the sexist plumber today. Don't wanna.

Steph, it strikes me as something that isn't funny, but then I have much the same sensitivity on the issue. And to them it is just a joke - it's not something that they're going to see. I've found that people who are in this "joke" and getting competitive - trying to outdo each other - they're even less sensitive.

I don't suppose you could say you've given up being mean for Lent.

Steph, I know I'd be really tempted to play dumb and tell them I didn't understand the joke and make them explain it (and keep insisting I didn't get it, and make them keep trying to explain what the funny part way). Because I'd hope that would be torture for them.

ION, I know that I've mentioned we have a job we want to post, but can't because official approval hasn't come down, etc. This morning our admin person called the provost's office and they said the paperwork had gone to HR, so she emailed the HR person, who has now emailed back,

"I just spoke to [blankity-blank-blank] in the Provost’s office and she communicated to me that the approval is still pending, and of course, I cannot move forward until I have approval. I was also advised that you were informed this morning via telephone by the Provost’s office that it had not yet been approved. The paperwork has not been lost and as soon as I am able to initiate recruiting activity I will be sure to contact all parties involved."

Woof! She sounds mad.

In addition, one of our first year Legal Research & Writing profs can't go teach abroad next month because of a conflict, and came down to ask if the other Reference person could do it. I'm *pissed* because a) I'm his supervisor and she didn't come through me, b) her dept has 6 other people in it all teaching this subject that could easily cover, what the hell is she trying to poach from my department for? (She says her colleagues can't go because they have teaching commitments. We apparently, have no commitments.)