I haven't seen any studies, but I imagine there's a big difference between kids and teens in this regard.

1. I edited to equivocate my statement (and talk about a speedy proof of concept!).

2. I may have skimmed, but I missed the ages of asshole!Dad's kids, and Barb's age when her dad left.

He's happy to be able to help; whereas I am horrified at not being able to help myself as much as I want to.

Since I am almost pathologically unable to accept help, I feel for you. I do believe, at least intellectually, that in a long-term relationship, the karma tends to get fairly evenly distributed. (Unless, of course, you agree to support him while he works on his freelance career and then he'll support you while you finish your PhD, but he leaves you after part one. Just to pick an example completely at random.)

When I was spending a lot of time in the TT Divorce threads there were a lot of studies out indicating that it was better for kids to be in an intact marriage even if there was fighting and tension between the parents.

I hear that, but it's impossible for me to believe that my life would have been worse without my father. It seems to me that feeling rejected by an absent father would be less painful than being rejected and criticized by one who was present every damn day.

(Pssst, Tep, I was agreeing with you. Have some more coffee.)

(Pssst, Tep, I was agreeing with you. Have some more coffee.)

Really? Oh god, I knew my brain folds were flattening out!

(I totally read that wrong. That doesn't say much about my editing skills. DOn't tell my boss.)

Wake Up with Hugh Laurie might be the best thing ever.

Oh! I forgot to tell you all, I downloaded some of the samples from the Jeeves alarm clock website, and was greeted by the dulcet tones of Steven Fry saying "Good Morning Madam"

I would have preferred a lot less Santa Dad behavior in favor of knowing what to say to him about my daily life. Also, less insinuating that Mom was a crazy alcoholic might have made my teen years happier for all concerned.In retrospect, I feel that he never even believed this to be true or he wouldn't have considered one weekend a month suitable visitation, right? So I don't even know why he thought that was good to share since he wasn't going to give a fuck anyway(It's okay...his bitchy wife has got his tiny balls on a chain around her linebacker's neck.)

Coffee and a list to try to keep me from falling into the Pit of Mordor.

Blergh. Pfft. Blergh.

I could use Wake Up With Hugh Laurie, but it's blocked by the new draconian filters.

I got an email from my oldest sister telling me she has aggressive uterine cancer. She had a hysterectomy in September and her doctor is talking about chemotherapy. She's 55 years old and is the active, skinny one in the family. To be honest, when I saw her last year, I thought she looked gaunt. I may now know the reason why.

My sisters and I have reconnected after Mother's death, though contact is still sporadic. Does anyone have any experience with this particular brand of cancer?

Fuck cancer.

I hope the prognosis for your sister is good, Connie.

Oh god, Connie. Best wishes to you and your sisters.

It varies, especially depending on the kid's age.

This. My teenage years would probably have been a lot smoother if my father would have just fucked off (as he was, um, requested to do.) Though I don't know what our today relationship would look like.

For my sister (10 yrs younger), I think she would have been wrecked. OTOH, she was pretty wrecked by the constant strife, and by my mother being so constantly on the edge due to all of that, so?