I would have preferred a lot less Santa Dad behavior in favor of knowing what to say to him about my daily life. Also, less insinuating that Mom was a crazy alcoholic might have made my teen years happier for all concerned.In retrospect, I feel that he never even believed this to be true or he wouldn't have considered one weekend a month suitable visitation, right? So I don't even know why he thought that was good to share since he wasn't going to give a fuck anyway(It's okay...his bitchy wife has got his tiny balls on a chain around her linebacker's neck.)

Coffee and a list to try to keep me from falling into the Pit of Mordor.

Blergh. Pfft. Blergh.

I could use Wake Up With Hugh Laurie, but it's blocked by the new draconian filters.

I got an email from my oldest sister telling me she has aggressive uterine cancer. She had a hysterectomy in September and her doctor is talking about chemotherapy. She's 55 years old and is the active, skinny one in the family. To be honest, when I saw her last year, I thought she looked gaunt. I may now know the reason why.

My sisters and I have reconnected after Mother's death, though contact is still sporadic. Does anyone have any experience with this particular brand of cancer?

Fuck cancer.

I hope the prognosis for your sister is good, Connie.

Oh god, Connie. Best wishes to you and your sisters.

It varies, especially depending on the kid's age.

This. My teenage years would probably have been a lot smoother if my father would have just fucked off (as he was, um, requested to do.) Though I don't know what our today relationship would look like.

For my sister (10 yrs younger), I think she would have been wrecked. OTOH, she was pretty wrecked by the constant strife, and by my mother being so constantly on the edge due to all of that, so?

Hmmm... I've been swayed to the Hec and Steph position but I've also been convinced there are exceptions.

There has been some further research, which I don't have to time to Google a link that shows the reverse. Even without abuse, if there is a lot of tension between the parents, the kids are better off with a divorce rather that "staying together for the sake of the kid".

I've been swayed to the Hec and Steph position

FTR, I don't believe that parents should stay together just for the kids. I do, however, believe that after divorce, one parent shouldn't just take off and ignore the kids in favor of his/her shiny new life.

but I've also been convinced there are exceptions.

As always.

2. I may have skimmed, but I missed the ages of asshole!Dad's kids, and Barb's age when her dad left.

I was eleven when my parents separated although my first words to my mother when she broke the news of the divorce to me were, "It's about time."

Apparently, my precociousness and cynicism go way, way back.

Connie, much ~ma for your sister.

I believe that people who are douchenozzles - or even latent douchenozzles - should not have kids. It's not about you anymore, assholes!

It would be nice if there was a little obscure birthmark someplace that would let you identify the latent ones before it was too late.