My mom says "I think that you should do X" and I say "okay" that's acknowledging that she said it, not that I'm going to do it. Sometimes she follows up with "so, are you going to do X" and I say "I'll think about it".

My mom has a hard time when people don't follow her advice. Or when she wants advice and it doesn't comport with what she thinks. She ask me what I think and I'll respond with "X". If she doesn't agree, she says "well, don't you think . . ." and I have to say "if I did, I would have said Y". I tell her all of the time "you wanted to know what I thought and I told you. You can take my advice or not, it's worth what you paid for it".

Basically, The Girl said we were engaged, and their response was "Don't invite us."

Ugh. I'm so sorry you're both having to deal with that. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am that my parents have come through the coming out/wedding/baby stuff with flying colors. I wasn't sure they would, so I'm extra proud of them. Here's hoping TG's parents come around.

we might not give each other big news but it's usually because we thought we already did

OMG, this happens with ridiculous regularity in our family. And I do it with KBD, too, which drives him bugfuck. Oops.

We've decided they don't get that get-out clause, though, 'cos we think they should have to look at an invitation and make a decision.

I think that's totally fair on your part, and may help make it "real" to them. (Did I abuse quotation marks there?)

My parents have flat out asked me not to share certain things with them. For example, drunken rugby stories. It was the one about the ref joining my team in mooning a bunch of Dookies that called us "dykes" that put them over the edge. Hey, I thought it was awesome that a straight middle-aged dude would show that kind of solidarity.

Here's the thing, though, and I don't know whether it means anything: I don't like lying. Of course I lie occasionally, but I really do not like telling blatant lies. To my parents or anyone else. I don't believe it's part of who I am, and I don't want it to be part of who I am. And being an honest, upstanding person is a component of my happiness.

If that's your definition of upstanding then you're going to have to stand up to your parents more. If you think bluntness is a virtue, then stiffen your spine because people will find it provocative. And it does no good to complain that you are only being truthful and true to yourself; there is a false kind of pride in that which is both willful and unkind. Frankly for somebody who is well attuned to the subtleties of everything he reads and watches, I find your moral stance here to be rigid and simplistic, more adolescent than adult.

It's funny, smonster. and kind of cool, in a weird sort of way. Maybe not a turkey-day anecdote, but... ETA: Yeah, I kind of agree with Hec here(and I think Scrappy) Even if my dad called off the mostly-fatwa, I think telling him the whole truth? Still kind of a mistake. Which I no longer think of as like, living a lie, because I know what the truth is and he could too, but he'd rather have something he could accept, because quite frankly, he's not very honest anyways. That's the guy I got, even though it's totally not what I would ask for, like, to eleven.

I find your moral stance here to be rigid and simplistic, more adolescent than adult.

Gosh, David, he said he doesn't like telling *blatant* lies. That might be something that isn't part of your moral code, but it hardly qualifies as rigid and simplistic, or adolescent.

Well, it seems like living that way one should be prepared to fight a lot. It might be worth it, but it wasn't in terms of rebuilding with the old man...I think that is deader than hair bands...I would have said "disco" but that seems like what Lady Gaga is so...

Speaking of not being able to set boundaries with parents, my mother is currently washing my kitchen floor. She knows it's not an easy task for me, so I have pretty much given up arguing with her.

I have an apple upside-down cake in the oven, and I am crossing my fingers that it comes out ok. I don't think I have ever baked a cake from scratch before. I still have a TON of apples left. Does anyone have baking recipes with apples to share or possibly an apple chutney recipe.

I just had to yell at some of my "good" students because they came into my office to ask me a question about an email that I had sent, and was told "Oh, I didn't read the whole email". I kinda went off about it.

Does anyone have baking recipes with apples to share or possibly an apple chutney recipe.

what kind of apples?