You can always say what you feel. PC has the right to talk about his family issues, people can talk about their cats or camels or baseball or whatever. That's what MARCIE is for. If someone annoys you (which is going to happen no matter how awesome the group is as a whole), then, just like you would in person, "walk away" by MARCIEing them. We even make it convenient by having a block link next to someone's name.

Be that as it may, Erika (or anyone else) also has the right to say that they don't like something or express their frustration in that Santayana kind of way.

Frankly, I worry that I'm complaining about my mom too much (here and IRL :) ), but sometimes I say "fuck it, I need to vent, and if people don't like it, they'll tell me :) ) and, in this case, someone did. (well, not me, obviously)

Certainly I think everyone has a right to bitch and get support in Bitches. It's one of the thread's great strengths. I think Erika is partly reacting to the fact that P-C keeps having the exact same problem: he wants to live his life and also keep his family happy. He knows how his family will react, yet he keeps telling them the truth, instead of the evasions and mumbles that have saved many of us so much grief. At some point, P-C, you're going to have to suck it up and decide whether your happiness or your mother's happiness is more important to you.

I never know how much of it is in my head when I feel that way, and how much of it is, "she's really annoying, and maybe if we ignore her she'll go away".

I am sj in this. To be completely trivial, I had those thoughts when no one said a word about my sprained ankle. I have a hard time talking about the current train wreck that is my life, so I tend to complain about the more minor everyday ills, but it would be nice to know someone was listening.

Well, I don't know what to say about that, because I don't want anyone to be offended, but at the same time, I don't feel that differently about what I said or why I said it. I mean, I could take it back to be a Thread Hero, or say that i'm on my period and have a shitty life so some sort of diminished-capacity thing should apply, but I can't take it back anyway.ETA: I'm sorry, Ginger. Somehow I missed your ankle post.

I am sj in this. To be completely trivial, I had those thoughts when no one said a word about my sprained ankle. I have a hard time talking about the current train wreck that is my life, so I tend to complain about the more minor everyday ills, but it would be nice to know someone was listening.

I think everyone has had those times when they have felt ignored because a post gets buried in the flow of the thread. I'm all for people venting and getting support, if I have nothing to contribute, then I just don't post. Maybe, I should be a bit more willing to post even if I feel like I have nothing to add.

Yeah, I have historically had the world's worst timing when I have needed hairpats, else I have just been too vague or something.

Anyhow, I actually gave up on asking for them, because my timing was so bad and they always got lost in the shuffle. Them's the breaks.

It's not acceptible, however, to try to bully someone into shutting up, which, Erika, is what it felt like you were doing here, and what it felt like you were doing months ago when you ripped into Susan in GWW. I know you get frustrated, and I understand that sometimes it is hard to avoid, because even if you use block functionality, blocking doesn't block responses to a person, but it feels like there should be a better way of articulating that.

It's not acceptible, however, to try to bully someone into shutting up, which, Erika, is what it felt like you were doing here,

I gotta say that I didn't think she was trying to bully anyone.

Certainly I think everyone has a right to bitch and get support in Bitches. It's one of the thread's great strengths. I think Erika is partly reacting to the fact that P-C keeps having the exact same problem: he wants to live his life and also keep his family happy. He knows how his family will react, yet he keeps telling them the truth, instead of the evasions and mumbles that have saved many of us so much grief. At some point, P-C, you're going to have to suck it up and decide whether your happiness or your mother's happiness is more important to you.

Ginger is very wise, and I think she's captured the crux of the issue. I can very much see where erika's coming from, even as I sympathize with P-C.

And Ginger, I am so sorry that I also missed/skimmed on your ankle post. Is it feeling better? And how is your house/yard situation?

I mean, I could take it back to be a Thread Hero, or say that i'm on my period and have a shitty life so some sort of diminished-capacity thing should apply,

Nah, erika, I don't think that's necessary.

Go, Frisco! I support youngest children getting their revenge on older siblings through toys, because I'm biased due to two older sisters who always seemed to have something I wanted to play with.

erika, I'm sorry you felt blindvisible. We've all been there from time to time, and it's never easy. The difficulty of dealing with that feeling is probably in proportion to how difficult it was to post one's feelings about something in the first place. Just like real life people, I think it's easier for us invisible folk to speak up on the easy stuff than chip away at the deep and difficult, so a recurring problem will get numerous "Hey! I know the answer to that one!" responses.

Well, that was not my intention. I don't think I am that menacing, for one thing. But the last thing I really want is to be Chilling Effect Girl. But I don't want to feel like any "negative" feeling I have is the worst feeling anyone could express either, and I'm not sure that some feelings have I statements and outcome based results and... Although basically the bad feelings I have about this have come from the group chastisement, though I completely crossed a line with Susan and ripped her for every aggravating thing she ever said in her life. I admit that. Sometimes I still feel bad although that doesn't mean that we didn't have an issue for me to comment upon.

And Ginger, I am so sorry that I also missed/skimmed on your ankle post.

I know it's easy to miss things. I wasn't so much asking for hairpats as pointing out how invisible one can sometimes feel. I think the ankle is finally a little better today. It's my own fault for saying to the dog, "You're trying to break my ankle with these holes you're digging, aren't you?" Then I stepped in one and there was an ominous pop.

I'll be digging out for some time. I'm trying to figure out where the foot of dirt washed up on the patio should go. It's got to be piled somewhere while I spend the winter rebuilding the terracing. This would seem less daunting if I could manage to stop hurting myself.