Calm~ma to you Hil.

Yes, this. So very this.

My advisor told me that he's worried about me writing a dissertation because he doesn't think my writing is good enough. We were going over a rough draft of something I'd written. He pointed at a word and said it was the wrong word to use there. I looked at it and agreed that it was the wrong word. I came up with a way to rephrase the sentence. I wanted to get on to the actual content of the paper. The content is the hard part that I want help on. Once I've gotten all the ideas I need onto the paper, I can go back and edit the way I wrote it. That's the easy part. But I ask for content help, and he tells me that he doesn't understand why I can't see that what I've written is written badly. Or, I even specifically ask "I don't think this is phrased well, but I can't think of a better way to phrase it -- do you have any suggestions?" And he replies by telling me that it's phrased badly.

Your advisor has the problem, not you. Really, "advisor" sounds like a misnomer. He's not helpful, he's not responsive, and you can't get in touch with him.

And he replies by telling me that it's phrased badly.

You should explain that your writing process is different. Lots of writers depend on multiple revisions to refine their thoughts, once they get the basic idea down.

The writing process is itself a form of thinking and revising is part of that.

Hil, the writing is the last thing you need to worry about. We have editors. If you need help from someone who understands math and has taugh English - I'm married to one.

next time the answer is "yes, it is, but as I have a better idea about how to improve the content, I will find it easier to rewrite. "

Thanks, guys. I'm trying to calm a bit.

Yes, I am struggling with the multiple applications. I spent 4 hours Friday on a uni website, filling out the hugenormous application. Mind you, you upload your resume and your cover letter AND then you repeat every damned bit of info, plus some (they wanted day of the week, not just month/year for job experience! WTFF?)

I saved (again) and signed out and thought "I am going to eat a muffin (whitey) because I have not eaten and that is why I have a headache."

I did so, and when I relogged back on, I found that all my info was gone. Gone. Gone. Uploaded stuff, application stuff, everything. BF is all sensible (after I flipped like a mammal) and was "Well, wait for the system to update itself."

I did, and it wasn't there still.

I have multiple res and cover for job types, summaries, district research, files on companies, lists, sub listings, contact sites, references, dates, addresses, boss names for companies that don't even EXIST anymore...

It's insane.

Weren't e-applications supposed to make things easier?

I miss fancy paper and well-chosen action verbs = WIN.

I hate that my parents insist on monopolizing my time when I am in town for a conference, and I feel like a dick for not wanting to spend more time with them. I came early to give them four full days with me, intending to enjoy my conference time completely apart from them. But my current potential future wife happens to be in town for a wedding, so they're arranging a face-to-face on Friday. And I am far too honest and admitted that the conference ends on Saturday, so my dad wants me to come home on Sunday. When I accused him of taking over my Sunday, that I knew other people in town besides him, he said that he wasn't saying the whole day (even though he specifically said to come in the morning), what, I couldn't spend one hour with them? Go ahead, do your other things, and come home around 1 or 2...and spend far more than one hour with us since your flight is at 9.

I feel like I am conditioned to acquiesce. That I am psychologically incapable of standing up for myself. Even though that's a very defeatist attitude. But if I don't have the balls to say, "No, this is MY time, and I will spend it how I damn well please," how am I ever going to say anything when it really matters?

I feel like I am conditioned to acquiesce.

You are. But the rest of the paragraph doesn't have to follow from that -- recognizing the fact now and standing up in smaller ways (and realizing that it won't actually break either you or them to do so, just as important) is a step towards *not* having to say no for the very first time when it turns out that this year is finally India In December time.

(IOW, conditioning isn't permanent, and if you fudge some "lunch plans" on Saturday, we won't tell.)

Hil, the writing is the last thing you need to worry about. We have editors

No Buffista ever needs to edit alone.

That's dreadful, Erin.