The only time I have ever stepped on a roach of my own free will was the one I brushed off of Dylan's foot when he was about 6 months old. And even that wasn't so much "free will" as sheer mama-bear PROTECT THE BAYBEEEEEEE instinct. Pure lizard brain, no higher consciousness involved.

Otherwise I call DH to kill them while I hide quietly in whichever room is farthest away from the terrifying many-legged creature.

Yes, giant roaches. Did you know they FUCKING FLY?!?!? That's what prompted the sister calling hysterics. (Until the ariel assault it was plain old hand-flapping and shrieking).

Palmetto bugs. I remember when I first encountered roaches outside of Florida, I laughed because they were so teeny and wee compared to what I was used to.

I had no idea scorpions were so fragile!

Killed one with my bare hand once.

In my sleep-addled mind, I thought it was a mosquito tickling my knee, so I threw back the covers and slapped the hell out of it. Then felt the hint of a sting, and turned the lights on. Woo. Dead scorpion, my favorite kind.

I remember when I first encountered roaches outside of Florida, I laughed because they were so teeny and wee compared to what I was used to.

Palmetto bugs travel alone, but them little cockroaches travel in packs.

Palmetto bugs. I remember when I first encountered roaches outside of Florida, I laughed because they were so teeny and wee compared to what I was used to.

This, if for no other reason, is why we need to STOP GLOBAL WARMING NOW. I do not want those fuckers moving any farther north than they already are.

I encountered palmetto bugs the year we lived in Fernandina. I was eight. If my mother had told me they could fly I'd have had a coronary.

I was once dashing across my carpeted apartment and felt something crunch undr my bare foot. I looked down to see a mashed waterbug. After the screaming and running in circles ritual dance was done, I went into the bathroom to get some toilet tissue for the removal procedures.

AND WHEN I GOT BACK TO MY BEDROOM IT WAS GONE.

200+ pounds of me, landing on that thing at a run, and IT SHOOK IT OFF AND WALKED AWAY.

That thing still haunts my dreams.

I do not want those fuckers moving any farther north than they already are.

I truly fear that's what the flying one was.

This, if for no other reason, is why we need to STOP GLOBAL WARMING NOW. I do not want those fuckers moving any farther north than they already are.

Right? There are reasons some of us flock to colder climes despite the fact that it, for example, IS SNOWING two weeks before Halloween.

Ow! Just burned my arm -- it brushed against the top of the inside of the oven while I was taking my dinner out.

I want to say that I'm not returning to Bitches until you're done with the bug talk, but I'm actually going to bed now. Keep talking, I'll skip all this in the morning. Oh, and thanks for the nightmares, in advance.

Said the Buffista who's trained to use M-16. (Scared-of-Wasps, you're not alone and not a wimp.)

(I'm cool with spiders, though. But horrible with stuff bigger than a fly that can fly around me.)