Can I ask -- why is that crazier to you?
It's crazy because all the overt caution messages we get, or at least that I got, involved stranger danger. It's crazy because making connections with people is supposed to afford some protection. But even if we never go out with men we don't know, how likely is it that we can actually get to know all of the men around us well enough to have a clue if they are the kind of men who turn out to be rapists, before we let ourselves be alone in a room with them?
ETA: It's also crazy because our good Buffista guys would never dream of doing that sort of thing, but to a certain extent, it is logical for the women around them (who don't know them as well as we do) to put them in the Schoedinger's Rapist category. Sexual assault happens so often, and it's not just a handful of horrible guys raping their way across the landscape. Chances are, some of the men each and every one of us knows, has done, or will commit sexual assault. Rapists don't look like strangers. Rapists look like men we know, men we speak to every day. That's what's crazy to me.
