New disabled feminist blog: [link]

One reason I let myself get as fat as I am is to stop the remarks. My tits developed fairly exuberantly, and the random remarks didn't stop till I was a size where they weren't as noticeable. I don't get strangers saying anything to me about the fat, perhaps because I'm standing straight up and moving with a purpose that suggests being fat will not stop me from dealing appropriately with them.

About ten years ago now, I went on a business trip to Philadelphia, and twice I took the train up to New York for the day. I got back very late and had to walk back from the station to my lodgings through the empty streets of Central City Philly. I never felt threatened, but I never saw anyone who wasn't about their business, either.

I used to get catcalls and propositions a lot. It eased up after 30. But it was often miserable before.

The worst wasn't random strangers, though. The worst was the men I barely knew and had classes with, because somehow, knowing my name upped their fucking sense of entitlement.

Signed, had one class she always left early so she could hide in the restroom to avoid her stalker.

I had a stalker for a while. I didn't know him, and I think he just picked up on me because he saw me walking to work. He'd trail me in his car. Stalkers shouldn't drive distinctive cars. I ignored him until the day he followed me into my work building, then I told Hubby. He disappeared after that, and I was afraid Hubby had done something that could get him in trouble, then a while ago he told me he'd immediately gone to the police, who said, "Well, that's something that will endanger his parole, thanks for telling us."

Joy.

New disabled feminist blog

Interesting link - thanks, Hil.

The one I get all the time, which I really hate, is if I'm walking somewhere while thinking about a problem I'm working on or something, some guy will inevitably come up to me and tell me to smile.

Hil is me. Only I get the "why won't you smile, sugar?" version. Sad thing is that my instinct is to smile to most Strangers I Want Away From Me, because usually I know that will usually get them away from me faster.

But to this? I want to pull up any grain of attitude I have and go "what the fuck do you think I owe you? Stop harassing me!".

ION, made final changes on my schedule. Dumped China, got Islam, Dumped Israeli Demographics to Society, State and Well Being (which is given in English, and I want to experiment with a class that's given in English.) I'm at my Great Aunt's, and I really need to go to bed now. But my mind is full of thoughts, expectations, fears. Well, I guess they could wait until tomorrow.

Barb, lots of house and calm~ma. Ginger, I'm sorry it went bad; better luck next time!

omnis, baby, why are they working you so hard? Tell them I said you need to eat, too!

San Francisco's Brava theater has the annual Sins Invalid show about sexuality and disability.

I don't remember cat calls but I remember when I was, maybe 10, I was barked at by a bunch of older boys. BARKED AT. It was a Saturday and my brother was playing in a soccer game so I was there at the park killing time.

And in middle school, well that was pretty much hell for me. There was an older boy, my tormenter whose name I will never forget. I had a big zit on my chin, the kind that is more cystic. He decided it looked like I had an std, syphilis. And so he called me Syph. All the time. around that same time I was walking down the road I lived on (it was rural about 1/2 mile long) and I wasn't close to home and some of my male classmates were riding around on an ATV and so the followed me. And yelled things at me. And finally one grabbed a stick and they came up behind me and as they drove by kinda shoved the stick, I think maybe they were trying for between my legs, but they jammed it in my rear. I've never told anyone that. And there was nothing I could do. They finally got bored and left me alone. But for a while I wasn't sure they would

What's crazier to my mind is the fact that the vast majority of sexual assault is not the stranger breaking into someone's home, or dragging the victim into a dark alley, but is committed by someone the victim knows.

Can I ask -- why is that crazier to you?

I'm not WindSparrow, but the stuff that I've been warned against the most is stranger rape. Don't go into dark alleys, poorly lit parking garages, unpeopled parks, because the Bad Man may be waiting there to rape you. The fact that the rapist probably has a key to my office or my home hasn't been brought up by those who've expressed concern. My family wanted to know why I wasn't dating the nice fellas in the community (school, church, family friends) so one of them could marry me and make me safe. But they're as likely to be the danger.

Crazy? Well, at least a message that's discordant with reality.