I think PI and SI people should keep themselves separated for just that reason.

One of my Ya-Ya's was diagnosed with PI and it was hard to talk to her about my inability to conceive because all I got was, "Well you have a baby." So, I stopped talking about it with her, as much for my sake as well as hers. I knew how much she was hurting and didn't want to add to it by being "smug mommy. She would occasionally ask, and I would tell her what was going on, but I never brought it up unless she or someone else did.

Completely not on topic, but I was just unpacking a few things from the car and remembered this.

Last weekend my mother presented me with a cookbook my 2nd grade class put together all those years ago. It was mimeographed.

You can imagine how clear decades-old mimeographed sheets handwritten by 7-year-olds look after (mumble) years.

So, the question in, photocopy or try and scan it directly? I was thinking a high contrast photocopy, then scan the result, but...

On Topic:

"It didn't take"

Wow.

In happier news:

Baby Panda Sneeze

(don't know if it's been posted before, but even if it has, you probably want to see it again)

Yeah, but honestly, that's asking for logical reactions, which you're never going to get when the starting point is that personal. And I think PI and SI people should keep themselves separated for just that reason.

I'm kinda with Plei on the issue of the reactions amongst support boards for infertility, secondary infertility and ttc. The reactions can sometimes be ugly and hurtful, but they are the reactions of people that are hurting.

I basically got booted off my ttc thread when I got pregnant at the same time as 4 other women and then they each miscarried. I won't say it didn't hurt, but I knew enough to not take it personally.

And here's the kicker: her m-i-l lost a baby due to SIDS.

Hmm. I wonder if that is part of why she had such a hard hearted reaction. Grief is weird, esp unprocessed grief.

Hmm. I wonder if that is part of why she had such a hard hearted reaction. Grief is weird, esp unprocessed grief.

That was definitely my thought at the time.

I totally can't believe that I didn't finish the story with the *much* happier news that my friend now has two gorgeous, healthy children, ages 3 and 4. Yep, she had a son using special methods (I don't recall which type of help) and then got pregnant again, a total surprise, when the son was 9 months old.

I'm so glad there is a happy ending to that story, java. I was on an LGBT fertility board and it was great. Very supportive and great to connect with others in the exact same situation. Now I do more blogging and connecting with individuals that way (still mostly LGBT).

You know, not knowing any of the people in question, I'm going to be devil's advocate about the mother-in-law: some stuff is way too personal and painful to do anything but make light of, imho.

I could completely imagine myself saying what she said, if obliged to discuss the matter.

(Why yes, my mother and I were quipping madly and inappropriately the whole time my father was in his could-die-any-second-now- period for several days after his massive flatlining heart-attack, back when I was 16. This is not because we failed to give a shit. This is our standard defense mechanism. We are not so much of the Oprah spill-your-guts-in-public mentality.)

I mean, sure, maybe the woman IS a callous witch from hell - but given that she also lost a child of her own to SIDs, I think it's also possible that she does give a shit, and deals with tragedy through understatement and very black humour.

...she's not British, is she?

Fay, I would joke like that within the circle, and always do, but not to someone who was a stranger.

I don't see any way that the statement could ever be justified, even with joking. It had been less than 4 months since her own grandchild had died in his mother's arms. I see absolutely nothing worth joking about in the circumstance. Most especially not with the still-grieving mother standing right next to her.

And no, she's not British. And she lost her child to SIDS in the early 70's. And she never, ever talks about it, much less jokes about it.