We used to have it(not me, but Arizona) What changed?

Common law marriage is recognized only in the following states:

Are you sure about DC? When I was working with the grand jury when I was clerking, we had a spousal privilege issue and determined that the district didn't recognize it. Of course, this was 10 years ago, so it may have changed.

Vortex--while I'm getting clarification about all sorts of things, can you answer me something about spousal privilege? Is it that a spouse cannot testify, or that you can't force a spouse to testify?

You cannot force the spouse to testify. Also, I don't think that they can testify if the spouse on trial objects.

I don't think that they can testify if the spouse on trial objects.

Which, really, if you're guilty and you told your spouse something to that effect, wouldn't you?

That rule never made sense to me. I can see not being able to force them, if we want to esteem the bond of marriage over the rest of law (dubious, but whatever), but making it so that it's not *my* choice to testify if the man I married turns out to be a mass murderer? That's so not fair.

The privilege belongs to the person that is on trial. Just like the psychiatrist can't testify to crimes that you may have confessed in session, the spouse can't testify to marriage pillow talk.

See, in doctor patient privilege, I get that. There's a dichotomy there--hell it's part and parcel for me why you don't schtup your doctor--to maintain that remove. I get most of the things they do to protect the accused lawyer/client, priest/supplicant, doctor/patient but they all have two different roles. So it parses out to me that the wife can't testify against her husband. Very few shows seem to play it so that it ever comes up that it's a matter of the husband testifying, and it just reinforces a hierarchy in the relationship.

Marriage pillow talk of "I made purses out of their genitalia and sold them for thousands of dollars back to their mothers." deserves no privilege I don't want to give it. I would like to have the right to run screaming very loudly away.

I would like to have the right to run screaming very loudly away.

you may, and you can even talk about it in your divorce proceeding, because the privilege only applies to criminal cases.

I was randomly in this thread b/c of earwax...anyway there are two privileges -- the right to prevent a spouse from testifying, and the privilege of communications between spouses.

In federal court the witness spouse can choose not to testify. In most state courts the party spouse can elect not to have the spouse testify.

As for the second privilege, it's more complicated -- it belongs to the person who communicated the material, unless it is a criminal case where the victim in the spouse or a civil case between spouses.

Oh, I'd like to be able to run to the nearest police station. Of course, if the crime is against me, I can testify, of course, and if it's against our family, right? What about if my husband is abusing my sister? My sister's husband's child?

It's not about things done, is it, so much as things said, right? So if he comes back to me and said he assaulted my daughter, I can testify? He says he assaulted my sister's daughter? I can report him and get the whole ball rolling? If he assaulted some girl I don't know? Then no?

eta:

unless it is a criminal case where the victim in the spouse

The right doesn't trickle down through the family any?