I've always been baffled by the "thoughts of suicide" warning. I presume it means "thoughts of committing suicide yourself", but the tiniest voice in my psyche pauses and goes, "Do normal people not even think about the subject?" I've had a clear understanding of my own mortality since I was young--thanks all you relatives that died when I hit puberty, causing me to be dragged to lots of funerals and viewings--and I've mulled over my own death for years, considering the causes, the effects on those around me, etc.

Do others not do this? Is the average person aware only intellectually that they are mortal?

There needs to be an addition to the header on this thread: "We are not licensed therapists, but we're happy to talk about it. Have you considered professional help?" Though that could be taken badly, I guess.

I think everyone could benefit from counseling. For once, no irony or wiseassedness intended.(Mark your calendars!)

You say your mood returns to baseline after you sleep - what's baseline for you? Positive or negative, and to what degree?

In the middle. If I'm feeling shitty the night before, when I wake up, I feel fine, as if the weight has been lifted. If I'm feeling totally awesome the night before, when I wake up, I feel fine, as if things are back to normal. It's a pretty neutral baseline, probably tending toward negative but that's just because, you know, waking up.

Bipolar can be fast cycling (moods change rapidly over the course of a day) or slow (moods last days or weeks). Manias are frequently followed by a dramatic crash.

I don't think I've really experienced cycling, but I do frequently crash after coming home from a great night out. But it's usually down to that baseline, not down into the wah wah mood. And that has to be normal, right?

Have you ever engaged in or thought about self-harming behavior? Suicide? You don't have to answer me here, if you don't feel comfortable (email me if you like), but these are the kinds of things that are common in serious bipolar and depression.

I have never engaged in it, but I've sometimes thought about it, or, more accurately, thought about thinking about it. Like, in the moment, it seems like something I ought to do, but I wouldn't really do it.

From what you've said, mild depression (if anything), would seem to be what's affecting you.

If I were actually dysthymic, I would be frequently feeling down for no reason, right? I think I generally have a reason.

Thanks for listening, guys. It's something that's always been in the back of my head for years, but I've never really considered the possibility that I could do anything about it. I think it's probably just life, though? I'm not actually keen on medicating myself. Unless something is actually wrong with me. Maybe.

Is the average person aware only intellectually that they are mortal?

I don't know! I'm like you. Sometimes when I'm driving I think about what one quick jerk of the wheel to the right could do, just in an "I could be gone at any moment" kind of way.

I think everyone could benefit from counseling.

I went to one in college once, and it made me uncomfortable, so I never tried it again.

Steph, when does magic beer time start?

For me, the next time I get over to my friends' in Sudbury. We deliberately laid aside two six packs out of the two cases we bought last winter in order to do a comparison taste test.

Magic beer is apparently available!!! Though I have no idea how widely it's distributed just yet.

Yay! I'll probably be investing in a case of my own again this year.

I love that I've pimped the wonders of Magic Beer far and wide!

Cognitive therapy and meditation helped more than drugs, for me, personally.(Although happy people generally think I'm deeply depressed, even so. But they do not understand me anyway.)ETA: Note, not the drugs on "The Wire" that still fascinate me. Like, Paxil and shit. But I guess I'm not alone...they asked Simon which character he most related to and he said Bubbles. I still think about that a lot and wonder what he would consider the blast he's been chasing.

Magic beer is apparently available!!!

WOOT! I shall have to add a trip to Bevmo to the weekend's plans.

Thoughts of mortality are not the same thing as suicidal ideation.

1. "Hey, we're all gonna croak. Better get started on that popsicle stick replica of Hadrian's Wall."

2. "Hey, life stucks. I should snuff it. Should I use the gun or jump off a bridge?"

Cognitive therapy and meditation helped more than drugs, for me, personally.

I've found that some of the relaxation and breathing exercises we learned in a stress relief seminar do work pretty well.

I've had both, Hec. dag...my bridge-jumping abilities are sadly limited. or not.