See, someone told me they're called sweat bees because they don't sting, they only make you sweat. I guess I'm glad the bees never disabused me of that notion. Pretty much every other type of insect in the midwest got ahold of me at some point in the 70's or 80's.

It was on Spike TV. Might not have been the most rigourous scientific method, but you know a couple dudes tried it.

Was this "1000 Ways to Die"? Or that horrific show "Manswers"?

That... is something, billytea. I never truly imagined how a connoisseur of pain would think, and I now I don't have to. Thanks for that.

Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.

Except on my ring finger. But yeah.

Growing up in Florida I had many red ant bites (burn, hurt, itch), chiggers (itch, burn), horseflies (multiple times - always at the pool. Painful, but not as bad as a bee sting), mosquitoes in the hundreds, carpenter ants (ouch!) I saw scorpions but never got stung by one.

I love this bit from Schmidt's own Wikipedia entry...

See also:

Apiology

Sadomasochism

Was this "1000 Ways to Die"? Or that horrific show "Manswers"?

You've watched them both?

I can't say much. I used to have a season's pass for Manswers. You were probably doing it for work. But now I have a better idea how small I can legally wear my swimsuit.

I forgot, I've had jellyfish stings. Like long lashings of bee stings but not as long lasting. Only lasted about 40 minutes, and the welts went down over time.

I don't know if I've had a paper wasp, but would rather not test that.

And Bullet Ants, even less so.

I've also been bitten by fish. There's a spot on my waist they really like and will cluster at and nibble. It's too fucking weird.

Ugh. The Brazilian rite of initiation bitten by bullet ants. That's too much pain.

You've watched them both?

Of course! Why do you think I was so elated when I got a promotion? I not only watched them, I hung on their every single word. Then would watch an episode of Bingo America. Followed by some Cristina's Court. Perhaps a little Girls Gone Wild action. And then I would go home and think about the 1000 ways I wanted to die. The episodes of The Office, Psych, and So You Think You Can Dance were very few and very far between, you know?

I can't say much. I used to have a season's pass for Manswers. You were probably doing it for work. But now I have a better idea how small I can legally wear my swimsuit.

There's one episode of Manswers about bees, where you can't out-wait the bees by hopping into a pool, you have to cross the street to get a certain distance from the hive before the bees will quit attacking you, that I have seen THREE TIMES. It is the same episode with the pee battery and the game of catch with the grenade on the beach.

My childhood nemesis: the red ant.

I endured probably hundreds of bites by these over my Florida years.