Ugh. The Brazilian rite of initiation bitten by bullet ants. That's too much pain.

You've watched them both?

Of course! Why do you think I was so elated when I got a promotion? I not only watched them, I hung on their every single word. Then would watch an episode of Bingo America. Followed by some Cristina's Court. Perhaps a little Girls Gone Wild action. And then I would go home and think about the 1000 ways I wanted to die. The episodes of The Office, Psych, and So You Think You Can Dance were very few and very far between, you know?

I can't say much. I used to have a season's pass for Manswers. You were probably doing it for work. But now I have a better idea how small I can legally wear my swimsuit.

There's one episode of Manswers about bees, where you can't out-wait the bees by hopping into a pool, you have to cross the street to get a certain distance from the hive before the bees will quit attacking you, that I have seen THREE TIMES. It is the same episode with the pee battery and the game of catch with the grenade on the beach.

My childhood nemesis: the red ant.

I endured probably hundreds of bites by these over my Florida years.

I totally feel your Florida pain, Hec. I once sat on a red ant hill when I was a baby, and a bunch of the ants got in my diaper. I must've been two, tops, but I remember it.

I totally feel your Florida pain, Hec. I once sat on a red ant hill when I was a baby, and a bunch of the ants got in my diaper. I must've been two, tops, but I remember it.

I'd be running around barefoot, standing in some field and then...Aiyeee! I'm on an anthill and they're all up my legs.

One learned to quickly run into the house, hop in the tub and wash them off.

Once my friends shut me in a foot-locker out on the lawn, and ants got in. That was a nightmare experience. Much pounding and screaming from the inside. Good times, good times... t /Bill McNeil

One learned to quickly run into the house, hop in the tub and wash them off.

This is cracking me up because it's so true. Also, why didn't we ever wear shoes? My mom had to force me to wear shoes once we moved to NY, and even then, she caught me with one bare foot out the door during our first snowstorm.

Also, why didn't we ever wear shoes?

Too hot and humid.

You should've seen the incredulous looks on the faces of my preppy college friends when I described people going to the mall in a bikini and high heels.

Also: nobody needs red ants in their diaper.

Do you remember when that law passed saying you couldn't sell things while wearing a thong if you weren't on the beach?

Do you remember when that law passed saying you couldn't sell things while wearing a thong if you weren't on the beach?

After my time, but that sounds very So. Florida.

My San Francisco son flipped out when exposed to the bug-life in Georgia. It was Not On.

Or rather, we Stayed Indoors.

However, I miss the warm, caressing air of nights in Miami.

The night air in San Francisco is caressing like the cold hand of death.

The thong girls were becoming a traffic hazard. It would've been the late '80s.

I don't want to live there again, but I do miss Miami sometimes. And often that is at night, because yeah, nights in CA are COLD.