Parrot banned from football ground for imitating referee's whistle
The seven-goal shoot-out between Hatfield Town and Hertford Heath turned to chaos when the bright green parrot began distracting players, causing the match to stop and start repeatedly.
The bird had turned heads before kick-off in Hertfordshire when a woman brought it to the match in a cage.
It behaved itself for the first-half of the quarter-final cup tie between the two non-league teams, watching play swing from end to end.
But 10 minutes into the second-half it began mimicking the referee's whistle, causing confusion on and off the pitch.
The match was halted and the woman and her parrot were told to leave the pitch-side.
Referee Gary Bailey said: "I've never known anything like it in my football career.
"It was a big game and there were quite a lot of people there.
"This woman was standing right by the touchline and suddenly unveiled a big cage with this big green parrot in it.
"I didn't mind at first. But then every time I blew my whistle the bird made exactly the same sound.
"The players all stopped so I had to ask her to move the parrot.
"It was bizarre. The crowd were all laughing.
"Looking back I should have made far more of it and got out my red card to show to the parrot."
Good thing no one ever brought a parrot to one of Obama's campaign speeches. It would have been distracting to have a parrot periodically call out, "Yes we can!"
Parrots are the most awesome pets ever.
There's a "baracker the berry" joke here, but I can't make it funny OR non-racist. It really should be at least one. Ah well.
It could be "Barack the Barry", but he doesn't use that diminutive anymore.
So typically Presidents are banned from using email?
I'm just not sure it's worth it anymore.
Obama signs executive order to close Gitmo within 1 year. Also to require that interrogations follow the Army Field Manual (i.e., NO TORTURE, BITCHEZ): [link]
Seriously, in this parallel universe, can I have whiter teeth and a perfect singing voice?
Not banned, just strongly discouraged. My personal feeling is that it's 2009 and the Secret Service should learn to work with it.
Oh, this is good: Obama to Bush: I Can Release Your Records. Don't Like It? Sue.
On his first day in office, President Obama put former president Bush on notice. His administration just released an executive order that will make it difficult for Bush to shield his White House records--and those of former Vice President Dick Cheney--from public scrutiny by invoking the doctrine of executive privilege. Shortly after taking office, Bush handed down his own executive order, amending the Presidential Records Act to give current and past presidents, along with their heirs, veto power over the release of presidential records, which are considered the property of the American people.
"[Obama]'s putting former presidents on notice that if you want to continue a claim of executive privilege that [Obama] doesn't think is well-placed, you're going to have to go to court," says Anne Weismann, the chief counsel for Citizens for Ethics and Responsibility in Washington (CREW).
Oh, this is good: Obama to Bush: I Can Release Your Records. Don't Like It? Sue.
Oh my fucking god.
He's EVEN BETTER than I had hoped.
I think I'm swooning.
Oh, this is good: Obama to Bush: I Can Release Your Records. Don't Like It? Sue.
AWESOME.
Also, awwwww, Aretha (talking about singing on Tuesday): [link]
Yesterday, Mother Nature was not very kind to me. I'm going to deal with her when I get home. It, by no means, was my standard. I was not happy with it, but I just feel blessed because it could have been five above zero or five below zero like it is in Detroit.
I was still blessed to be able to pretty much just sing the melody, but I wasn't happy with it, of course.
Don't worry, Your Highness. Your "below-standard" is miles above most others' "OMGAWESOME." And your hat kicked all sorts of ass.
