Poor StuntHusband. It is the sad truth of crushes that they tend to be one-sided.

Poor StuntHusband. It is the sad truth of crushes that they tend to be one-sided.

Si. Claro. This, too, will pass - and needs to RIGHT SOON because he's having Relationship Issues(TM) and I would like to be able to offer him meaningful advice, instead of "dump the bastard and come shack up with me", which is what...certain segments of my anatomy...are chorusing in my ears.

(headdesk)

And when they're two-sided, whoa momma is he ever married!

::ahem::

(We never did anything and yet I was on his wife's shitlist, apparently because he said my name in his sleep).

Totally unfair - if someone's going to hate you, you should have some fun earning it.

Sandra lee is on the Tv. Amazing how easy that makes it to go work.

Timelies all!

Tired, and I don't know why. Slept fine, plus had a two-hour nap yesterday afternoon. Feh.

Came back from my meeting (which was shorter than expected because only a few people had questions) to find a phone message from my mom to call her back. It sounded pretty serious, so I dialed her immediately, to find out that she has walking pneumonia (and not for the first time).

I immediately started scolding her about "What did I tell you last week, Mom? Didn't I say to go the doctor? Hmmmm?" all while I was shaking my finger at the phone. She got all defensive--"I did go to the doctor on Friday! I've been taking my medicine all weekend!"--but that didn't work for me. "You couldn't call to tell me this over the weekend??" She's notorious in the family for being stubborn about going to the doctor until she gets really sick. For being a nurse, she's got a long track record of various illnesses.

My going-through-a-divorce brother's living with her right now, so at least he's taking care of her. She was more worried that, since I'm coming out there next Sunday to spend the week, she might not be up to doing some of the stuff we were talking about, which is fine with not-too-flush-with-cash me. I just want to feel her to feel better so that (a) I don't worry too much, (b) I don't get sick, and (c) she's not catching so we can go out to Lancaster and see my stepsister/BIL and their little girl, whom I have yet to meet.

Last night I dreamed that Robert Guillaume told off Bill Cosby and then did a magical banana dance.

Hubby had a dream the other night where we were watching a movie being filmed in our town, and the director came up to him and said, "I knew you were around here somewhere! Boy, you've let yourself go. Don't worry, a personal trainer and a doctor, and you'll be fine. And you're probably living in some dump pretending to be an American again. Minion! See to it!"

Minion comes over and tells Hubby that he's been mistaken for a crabby Austrian movie star--not Arnold--who's notorious for pretending to be poor to avoid working. So we're told we're about to become this movie star and his wife, so get ready for a makeover. He has weird dreasm.

I'm Not Hanging Noodles on Your Ears and Other Intriguing Idioms From Around the World

Not hanging noodles on your ears: Russian - not kidding

To live like a maggot in bacon: German – live in luxury

To reheat cabbage: Italian – rekindle an old flame

Like fingernail and dirt: Spanish, Mexico – well suited

Bang your butt on the ground: French - die laughing

Plucked like a chicken: Yiddish - exhausted

To bite the elbow: Russian – to cry over spilt milk

Smoke from 7 orifices of head: Chinese – to be furious

To become naked: Japanese – to go broke, poor

An ant milker: Arabic – a miser, tight wad

Give it to someone with cheese: Spanish - to deceive

Squeezer of limes: Hindi – self invited guest, idler

To break wind into silk: French - live the life of Riley