The story is that he sprained his back while packing and moving the night before...
Bush: Dick, what're ya doin'?
Cheney: Moving!
Bush: Dick, we have guys for that.
Cheney: They cannot be allowed to move my equipment!
Bush: Equipment for what?
Cheney: My Lazarus Pit!
Bush: What's that?
Cheney: Just grab the other end, okay?
Bush: Okay...wait, let me get a grip...
CRASH!
Cheney: Oh, shit, my back!
Bush: You should've gotten more exercise, like me. I cleared brush!
Cheney: I was kinda busy UNDERMINING DEMOCRACY FOR PROFIT, you buffoon!
Bush: I am not a monkey!
(Sorry. I guess I'm kinda giddy.)
Yeah, because he can't afford movers.
I assume the boxes in question were filled with documents third parties are not allowed to touch.
Or, as you surmised yesterday, it's all a cover story for his human shell starting to disintegrate.
My in-laws are not happy that Cheney is staying in VA, btw. They were hoping to get the entire administration out of their backyard.
How tired am I? I, for no reason I can fathom, have "I wish I was 18 again" by George Burns playing in my head, and I am powerless to stop it. I am that tired.
Cheney: My Lazarus Pit!
Ahahahahahaha!!!!
God, that explains SO MUCH about the last 8 years.
Ah the first mocking of the ceremony from my egghead co-workers.
Cheney: My Lazarus Pit!
Maybe that's why he's only moving to VA. Shipping those things is a bitch.
Or, as you surmised yesterday, it's all a cover story for his human shell starting to disintegrate.
Or maybe they had to hobble him to get him in his travelling crate?
ETA Of course, that's dangerous, because there's nothing more dangerous than a wounded Cheney. I think nuke from orbit is the only safe option.
I just e-mailed my boss with my "I'm sick, can't work today" message. I started getting a scratchy throat on the drive home from the inauguration party yesterday afternoon, and now I've got a sore throat, cough, and slight fever. Um, yay?
This is the busy time for us right now, so I hate doing this to her, but I just can't go in and get everyone else sick(er) than they are already. Also, I'm ready to take another nap only an hour after I woke up.
Also, with the chopper, I couldn't tell...did Bill get on that thing, too? Was it all the still living ex-presidents on that thing? Because I know Bush Sr. got on that.
I kinda hope it was all the ex-presidents. What an awkward conversation that would be.
Bush Sr.: So. Uh. Hi guys.
Clinton: Is there a wet bar on this thing? I could use a beer.
W.: Me too!
Bush Sr.: Shut up, you. So. Carter. How's it goin'?
Carter: I'm doing okay. Being a statesman. Having my name touted about, you know.
W.: Didn't you win a contest or sumthin'?
Bush Sr.: I told you to shut up.
Carter: A Nobel Peace Prize. Wanna see it?
Clinton: You carry that thing around with you?
Carter: Yeah. Why?
Clinton: No reason. *coughneedycough*
Carter: I heard that.
Clinton: Wanna drink?
Carter: What about you, Bush?
W.: Well...
Carter: I meant Senior.
Bush Sr.: Yeah, shut up. I'm doing fine. Skydiving, you know. How about you, Clinton?
Clinton: Doin' all right. I have a waterbed in my office covered with money and interns. I go and roll around on it at lunch.
Bush Sr.: Nice. Dignified.
W.: Did you know I was a war president?
Bush Sr.: I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP! You are SO GROUNDED WHEN WE GET HOME!
W.: Awww, Dad...
