I have called and made a doctor's appointment. Now I need to indulge in retail therapy as a reward for... acting like an adult, I guess.

Oh, what was it? Someone came into my office as I was watching, so I missed the end.

"This just in: putting your hair in a pony tail is not the same as taking a shower."

UPS would never deliver my packages in Berkeley and I wrote many complaints when the driver would do things like ignore my neighbor who was watching for him and walk away when she offered to sign for my stuff. And then there was the time they changed the delivery address on something, without my permission, because I'd changed it once on a previous package.

Here they manage to toss them onto my porch without a problem.

"This just in: putting your hair in a pony tail is not the same as taking a shower."

Oh, I did hear that! Good one. No, I'm sorry, it's not the same. It may be good enough, but it is not the same.

I remember the one time I had eyeglasses delivered to me via Airborne Express and they never buzzed my apartment (I was home that morning) but instead left the package sitting on the sidewalk in front of the door, when they could have at least opened the door and put it inside the lobby. Anyone walking by on the sidewalk could have taken it with nary a hitch in their step.

I am very, very glad I live in a building where there are people at the front desk who sign for packages. In a neighborhood close by they have constant problems with deliveries - drivers who make no attempt to knock or ring the bell and, against all requests, leave packages on the front porch ... where they are immediately stolen. Someone rigged up a camera and caught the UPS guy dumping the package and the thief barely waiting for him to clear the porch before grabbing it.

My UPS guy comes at night.

I'm imagining this being said by a disheveled little girl wearing a combat helmet.

My UPS pick-up place is pretty convenient; it's just a couple miles from work and they're open till 7 on weeknights. But if they return packages to the sender immediately now, that doesn't help me.

I found the names of various UPS bigwigs at the main office in Atlanta, so I think I'm going to print out the novella-length email exchange I've had with customer service and send it there, so they can blow me off more efficiently. I'm also going to to contact Amazon & Zappos & some other companies to explain that since they don't offer any other carriers, and UPS effectively refuses to deliver to me, I won't be able to shop with them anymore.

I totally understand how Ahab felt now.

Where did you go to pickup? I hate UPS pickups, because although there's a depot near me, I'd have to go downtown to get my package. NSM. For Fedex I only have to go as far as Manhattan Beach.

In Van Nuys, at the private airport I like to call the "Alias Airport." (To myself, because no one cares.)

Hour 15 of packaging madness. And the kittens in happier times.

t /the internet is run by and for cats.

But if they return packages to the sender immediately now, that doesn't help me.

Yeah, that's ridiculous. Go get 'em!

ION, I just scared the crap out of my minion by asking her to come into my office. Really, I just wanted to talk about her officemate's going-away party! I think she thought she was getting fired. Because she's nuts.