David, did you try putting ice on your leg? Also take ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen - check.

Ice - uh...I went with the heat pad and now it's more stiff.

Going with ice.

"Don't dip your scrotum in poo"

Yeah, that's going to take a couple years.

As Aims notes, the milk will come. Have you had fun with miconium yet?

Extra note: Aimee, JZ, Wallybee - all had C-sections.

See also: gas exiting body, and constipation.

Ice - uh...I went with the heat pad and now it's more stiff.

The general rule is to ice an injury (20 minutes on, 2 minutes off) within the first day or so after the injury, and then switch to heat. Unless, of course, the ice makes you miserable, in which case, throw out rule #1.

You know you can take 4 ibuprofen at a time, right? But if you take that many, try to space the doses 6-8 hours apart.

And if you imbibe enough alcohol, you probably won't feel anything, which will at least get rid of the pain temporarily.

Anyway, it's clear that he has a lot to learn, and we're going to have to start with the fundamentals, by which I mean "Don't dip your scrotum in poo". We'll see if he's a fast learner.

And after that, you have to deal with the whole, "don't dip your fingers in poo." In fact, watch the "is that chocolate or poop" scene in Baby Mama to fully prep for that day, m'kay?

And don't forget, no pooping in the bathtub or in the backyard, while we're at it.

As Aims notes, the milk will come. Have you had fun with miconium yet?

He's past the meconium now, into transitionals.

See also: gas exiting body, and constipation.

Yeah, there are some things in respect of which I don't really feel the need for visual confirmation.

You know you can take 4 ibuprofen at a time, right?

I took 3.

And if you imbibe enough alcohol, you probably won't feel anything, which will at least get rid of the pain temporarily.

Plus whiskey.

Looking at the symptoms online I'm suspecting a partial tear to the tendon, but there's no bruising. It is a bit swollen though. WTF? Was just walking. Stupid soft tissue injury.

At least it's not my knee?

did you trip? Because my mom tore her tendon, but she was jumping a fence.

did you trip? Because my mom tore her tendon, but she was jumping a fence.

No just walking. But more investigation online suggest achilles tendon, partial rupture.

Though maybe just a calf strain:

A sign of a calf strain is similar to that of an Achilles tendon rupture - you may think you've just been hit in the leg and hear a "pop." There is sudden pain at the back of the leg, pain, swelling or bruising in the calf muscle, and you have difficulty standing on the toes.

That's where I'm at.

Ow, but probably less serious than a torn...anything

Ow, but probably less serious than a torn...anything

Apparently even a strain involves:

Pain that occurs in the calf muscle on the lower part of the leg often is the result of a pulled or torn calf muscle. This is called a calf strain. It occurs when part of the muscle of the lower leg (gastrocnemius or soleus) is torn away from the Achilles tendon.

A calf strain is similar to an Achilles tendon tear or rupture, but occurs higher up in the back of the leg.

Grade 1 Calf Strain : The muscle is stretched causing some small micro tears in the muscle fibers. Full recovery takes approximately two weeks.

Grade 2 Calf Strain : There is partial tearing of muscle fibers. Full recovery takes approximately 5-8 weeks.

I think it's Grade 1 since I'm not seeing bruising.