Nothing is funnier than Santino (in an online clip, not the aired show, I think) singing Nine Inch Nails' Closer ala Tim Gunn, with Daniel V cracking his ass up in the foreground.

OK, maybe Dennis Quaid in Starbucks on the Ellen show is funnier, but it's a close race.

There was diarrhea on the floor of my train car this morning. Ew.

At least the entire car wasn't filled with an overpowering stench, like last time.

If the smell of napalm in the morning smells like victory, does the smell of diarrhea in the morning smell like defeat?

Ouch, tommy. That's no way to start the day.

Seriously though, that isn't a cool way to start the day. Sorry you got that train car.

That train car was my house this morning. Culprit? The elderly dog. sigh. Am really hoping that was the last of it and I won't be coming home to a mess tonight.

I managed to avoid stepping into it, so I call that a victory. Or at least not a defeat.

Last time that happened, I had to flee the car at the very next stop. Everyone was avoiding that car, except for two teenagers who just stat there giggling the whole time....

On the other hand, there's a very good chance that the worst thing to happen to you today has already happened.

Sorry about you dog. Cleaning up dog yuck from either end isn't fun. Makes me gag when I have to do it. Which, thankfully, has been a long time now.

Cleaning up dog yuck from either end isn't fun.

I'm sadly pretty used to it by now. I'm just glad I'm currently the only one in my house so noone else has to deal with it. I feel so bad when boyfriend is there and he experiences it. He's never had pets so it's a whole new and gross world for him. (He's very very patient and kind with the animals, though, and has cleaned up many a mess for me already.)