I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco

I grew up in a town that was mostly populated by the descendants of Polish immigrants. One of them told me this joke.

A Polish man is walking down the road and he finds a bottle. When he opens the bottle, a genie popped out. "Thank you, kind sir! You've released me from a thousand years' captivity, so I'll give you three wishes!" The man thinks for a moment and then says, "I want to see all the soldiers in China march here and attack Poland and then go home!" The genie's confused, but he's a genie of his word, so the Chinese soldiers march over, attack Poland, and then go home. It's terrible and messy, but when the dust settles the genie finds the man and asks for his second wish. The man smiles and says, "I want the same thing to happen again!" Strange are the ways of humans, thinks the genie, but he goes and works his magic. War, death, and all the attendant horrors occur for the second time. The genie comes back to the man and asks, with a bit of trepidation, "What is your third wish?" "Oh, that's easy," says the man. "I want the same thing to happen for a third time." So once more the genie does his thing. A while later, curiosity gets the better of the genie, and he asks the man, why he'd made such a strange wish, much less three times. "Simple," said the man. Every time the Chinese army attacked here, they went through Russia twice."

Calli, that's brilliant.

Heh, that's awesome.

The rude clown joke is also brilliant.

I once heard somebody tell the joke about the three-legged dog, and manage to spin it out to an almost ten-minute Western epic. It was truly majestic.

What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A nun rolling down a hill.

What is green and goes "Slam slam slam slam"? A four-door pickle

What's purple and conquered Europe? Alexander the Grape

How can you tell there's an elephant in your bed? 1) By the E on his pajamas 2) By the peanuts on his breath.

How do you get four elephants into a compact car? Two in the front and two in the back.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Can't be done. It's a hardware problem.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. It actually only takes one programmer to change a light bulb, but three will leave in the middle of the project.

Scola--I thought the answer was: None--it's a hardware problem.

I've heard both versions.

One kind-of clean joke that always makes me smile:

A young couple has gone out on a date and afterwards they park in the local lovers' lane and start kissing. She's obviously enjoying herself, so he asks, "would you like to get in the back seat?" She says no, so they keep kissing in the front seat. As they're getting more passionate, he again asks, "would you like to get in the back seat?" She says no again and they keep on. Finally he asks, "are you SURE you don't want to get in the back seat?" and she replies, quite indignantly, "no! I want to stay in the front seat with you!"

I am easily amused.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

However many are trying to avoid tech reviewing the documentation.

t sorry, the cranky editor tag doesn't close