So the Lone Ranger gets captured and the bad guys tell him he gets 3 last requests.

For his first request, he asks to speak to his horse. They allow it, and the Lone Ranger whispers in Silver's ear who promptly gallops off and returns moments later with a beautiful blonde.

The bad guys are impressed and allow the Lone Ranger and his lady friend some alone time.

For his second request the Lone Ranger again asks to speak with Silver who again after a whisper in his ear gallops off, this time returning with a beautiful brunette.

For his last request the Lone Ranger once again asks to speak to Silver who he grabs by the ears and shouts, "P-O-S-S-E!"

For a second I tried to think about what joke had a punchline about power steering.

I was at a party once and was bored, and looked at a nearby young man, waved my hand and said, "Amuse me." (I was sitting in a fancy chair at the time, so I guess that leant me power). He blinked at me for a moment, then spent the next ten minutes telling a story about a streetcar conductor, his beautiful daughter, and his descent into crime and poverty and shame. The punch line was a horrible pun, and I laughed like a loon. He grinned and said, "No one's ever let me finish that before, thank you." Apparently we had bemused the whole room, with his story and me egging him along in all the right spots.

I may be able to call another mechanic and get a quote.

Probably a good idea. If it's a noise and not extra effort it sounds more like a failure of the power steering pump, but it's not like I'm an expert.

I remember hearing a joke years ago that was rather long, but had the great punchline, "If the foo shits, wear it!" I wish I can remember the rest of it.

Reminds me that I should probably shop around for estimates on replacing my timing belt and water pump. I'm hoping that will stay under $900.

From the Rock Cats article:

Martin remains single, quipping that "you can only hide this many cats for so long." She shares her modest, two-story home in Chicago's Avondale neighborhood with 20 cats, four raccoons, three groundhogs, five chickens, two kinkajous, a Chinese bear cat, one African serval, two chinchillas, one hedgehog and an alligator named Arnold Schwarzen-gator who, in the winter, lives in her basement. (Yes, she's licensed.)

I love cheesy pet names.

Exactly, Sue!!! On Chicago Bob's first visit here I told him that joke while we were walking around my neighborhood leading us to now always call a certain alley FUCK YOU, CLOWN Alley.

I always wish I could remember the "gesture debate" joke I knew in high school. It was religious.

My Sister tells it (or one very like it). Let me see if I can remember...

Next door to the great big Vatican there's a tiny little synagogue. This just looks bad. So one day the Pope goes over to ask them to leave.

Unfotunately, the Pople and the Rabbi don't speak the same language. The Pope feels, however, that he will be able to make his feelings known. He sets off for the synagogue. Half an hour later he returns looking defeated.

"What happened?" Asked one of the Cardinals?

"He is a great theologian, I cannot defeat him intellectually. They stay.

When I walked in I said "God is everywhere" (Raise your hand above your head and wave in a circle)

He replied "God is right here" (hold one palm horizontal to the ground, point into it with other hand)

Then I held up three fingers to indicate the holy trinity (hold up three fingers, palm facing self)

He held up one finger to say, "but there is only one god" (hold up middle finger)

I crossed myself in order to say "Jesus died for our sins" (cross yourself)

Then he took a bite of his apple as if to say "But we are all subject to original sin."

Everyone agreed, the Rabbi had a compelling argument and the matter was best dropped.

Meanwhile across the street, the Rabbi went back to his office and everyone was all, "What happened? What happend?"

The Rabbi replied: (and this is in a "tough" vaguely Brooklyn accent) "He said 'Get outta heah' (Raise your hand above your head and wave in a circle) I said 'I'm stayin' right heah' (hold one palm horizontal to the ground, point into it with other hand) He said, 'Ya got THREE DAYS" (hold up three fingers, palm facing self) I said, 'Fuck you' (hold up middle finger) Then he made some funny gesture (cross self) I took a bita my lunch (bite apple) an' he LEFT."

That is totally almost exactly it! I feel better now.

Lisa, that was my friend Jamie's signature joke in HS. It was a very very drawn out affair when he did it right.