I couldn't resist typing one of my Irish jokes up, even though it's pretty long:
One day, a Dublin man is walking home from work. As he approaches his front gate, he sees a leprechaun sitting there! He sneaks up behind the leprechaun, grabs him, and says, “Gimme your pot of gold!”
The leprechaun replies, “But I’m not a pot-of-gold leprechaun; I’m a three-wish leprechaun!”
The man says, “Whaddya mean, three-wish leprechaun?”
The leprechaun says, “I can grant you any three wishes you want, but I have to warn you that anything you ask for, I have to give twice as much to your worse enemy in the world who I happen to know is McGillicuddy, who lives across the street from you.”
The man thinks and agrees. The leprechaun says, “What do you want for your first wish?”
The man says, “I want a beautiful twenty-room mansion.” And voomp! There it was. But across the street was old McGillicuddy, standing on the front porch of a forty room mansion, saying, “God love ya, man!!”
The leprechaun says, “What do you want for your second wish?”
The man says, “I want twelve of the most gorgeous women in the world with me.” And voomp! He had stunning beauties of every size and hue around him. But across the street was old McGillicuddy with twenty-four drop-dead lookers, saying “I didn’t know you cared so much, man!!”
The leprechaun says, “What do you want for your third and final wish?”
The man says, “I want my desire for women cut in half.”
My brother was good at telling the long jokes with groaner punch lines. He had one about three rabbits named Foot, Foot Foot, and Foot Foot Foot and another involving a Funny Talker's Convention (which had a visual setup).
My minivan needs a new power steering rack. It's $700. It could be worse but the van has less than 49K on it. Feh. Still, explains the annoying noise when I turn.
My minivan needs a new power steering rack.
Could you buy a used one?
Could you buy a used one?
Probably not. DH isn't mechanical and we just took it to the dealer here in town to get it checked out. I may be able to call another mechanic and get a quote.
So the Lone Ranger gets captured and the bad guys tell him he gets 3 last requests.
For his first request, he asks to speak to his horse. They allow it, and the Lone Ranger whispers in Silver's ear who promptly gallops off and returns moments later with a beautiful blonde.
The bad guys are impressed and allow the Lone Ranger and his lady friend some alone time.
For his second request the Lone Ranger again asks to speak with Silver who again after a whisper in his ear gallops off, this time returning with a beautiful brunette.
For his last request the Lone Ranger once again asks to speak to Silver who he grabs by the ears and shouts, "P-O-S-S-E!"
For a second I tried to think about what joke had a punchline about power steering.
I was at a party once and was bored, and looked at a nearby young man, waved my hand and said, "Amuse me." (I was sitting in a fancy chair at the time, so I guess that leant me power). He blinked at me for a moment, then spent the next ten minutes telling a story about a streetcar conductor, his beautiful daughter, and his descent into crime and poverty and shame. The punch line was a horrible pun, and I laughed like a loon. He grinned and said, "No one's ever let me finish that before, thank you." Apparently we had bemused the whole room, with his story and me egging him along in all the right spots.
I may be able to call another mechanic and get a quote.
Probably a good idea. If it's a noise and not extra effort it sounds more like a failure of the power steering pump, but it's not like I'm an expert.
I remember hearing a joke years ago that was rather long, but had the great punchline, "If the foo shits, wear it!" I wish I can remember the rest of it.
