The secret part is pretty optional.

I think the secret part ends when the gift arrives.

(C'mon, year! Bring me a girl!)

Honestly, it continues to baffle me, this absence of girl. Gris, you're cute as a button, and you have excellent taste in stuff AND spicy brains. I can only assume that there is a girl of exceptional awesomeness out there somewhere, lost in the mail. (Upon reflection, she's possibly making out with the smart, funny lady or gentleman that the universe is planning on sending my way. Bastards.)

2008. Hmm. Let's see:

• I cut back on carbs and started exercising regularly and lost 3 stone.

• I got rubbish about said exercise after the Summer, and let work and other things snowball and keep me from the gym, and slacked off on the carbs, and gradually gained 1 stone back.

• I had a nice wee role in the Bangkok Community Theatre fringe festival back in February, joined the BCT committee as Social convener, got cast in the next 2 plays they did, developed (or rather honed) crushes on two cast mates, and contrived to alienate one and embarrass myself spectacularly in front of the other before he left to go to China. So that didn't go so well. But the acting stuff was great fun.

• I ran a SingalongaSoundofMusic evening for two nights, and it was a roaring success.

• I think I got better at being a teacher. I'm still crappy crappy crappy at admin/paperwork, and I really don't stick to the planning, but I think I'm getting better at what I do.

• I'm back to teaching Year 3 (Grade 3, academically, Grade 2 agewise) again, and enjoying it enormously.

• My class ROCKS. They are the best class I've had to date. Granted I keep saying that, but I don't think I've lost perspective - I think I've just been very lucky. I feel blessed in my employers (I mean, more money would be great, and better resources - but it's a very happy work environment) and in my colleagues and my kids.

• I think I'm becoming more hermitty, and less sociable. Probably I need to do something about this. Um.

So...hopes for next year?

• Get back to the gym, because it will help me lose weight and feel better.

• Cut down on carbs again, because I have now discovered that carbs make me feel like crap. Hopefully this will help me to lose weight, but even if it doesn't, I know it will help me to feel better.

• Do more acting.

• Possibly do a little directing in The Fringe? Maybe?

• Get out of the flat more often, whether for pub quizes or dancing.

• Be a better teacher.

• Be a better friend.

• Take risks.

...I'd like to say that I have some hopes for finding a partner, but, you know, I really don't. Still, I should at least make sure I don't close any doors on opportunities to meet cool people and form connections with them; this year I fucked things up.

I cut back on carbs and started exercising regularly and lost 3 stone.

(that's 42 amazing pounds for us 'mericans) GO FAY!

2008 had one very extreme low, and many highs.

• DW's dad lost his 2 year battle with leukemia in late January. A horrible, terrible, awful start to 2008.
• In March, DW and I decided that we want to be parents and have been on that journey ever since.
• In August, we decided to tie the knot since it became legal in CA. (Let us not discuss the passage of Prop 8 in November.)
• DW, her mom, and I are heading out to my parents' place next week for Christmas. It'll be a first on many levels, which is Something considering DW and I have been together for 14 years.

Despite some recent disappointments, I am ending the year mostly on a high note. I am thankful for my great friends and family. I am hopeful for one tiny-but-huge little miracle from 2009.

I have no secret santa. I do, however, have a Wallybee, and an early Christmas pressie courtesy thereof. It's Life: The Science of Biology (http://www.amazon.com/Life-Science-Biology-David-Sadava/dp/0716799014/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229484564&sr=1-1).

I was just thinking today -- when Bob and I were trying to figure out the differences between ligaments and tendons-- about how I was pleased that I have the fourth edition in the apartment (from college). Although TBH we could have checked wikipedia. Which we forgot to do.

Glam, you've been together since you were 10??!!

I love you, javachik!

Heh.

I ordered my Slacker Santa main gift yesterday, so I'm feeling all accomplished already.

I think I'm finished with the purchased portion for my giftee. Tonight I'll add in some home-made goodies and, if all goes as planned, get the box in the mail tomorrow. Phew!

I was going to wait until after Christmas, but it seems I need to dump now.

As I posted before, I started a new job at the very start of 2008 and that was a great change for me. Much less stress, shorter commute, regular hours, a boss that is not a pain about Dr. appts or being late because of school performances. The only downside is I went from 18-20 vaca/personal days to 15.

The house mostly stayed together. I did have to get a new toilet and I had a third round of water damage to the bathroom ceiling.

We took our first vacation (not family visit) and mac only had a few emotional bumps. On that trip we got to see friends which was really nice. We also got down to B'more for another short trip and saw friends.

Mac learned to swim, ride a bike(without training wheels), and started karate.

Mac also started having behavior problems at school and at home and started therapy in the spring. He's worked hard in therapy and made a lot of progress working through trauma and emotions. There were some extremely rough times over the summer as he faced leaving for a week with family without me there, but we've come out the other side ok. Mac has had no notes home about behavior this school year thus far, which is amazing. We're at a calm spot at home and if we make it through the holidays without any violent episodes I will be ecstatic, but it's a lot to expect with routines thrown off and so much extra stimuli. I've found a single mother's group that I hope will be some support and my friends have been a wonder for me to dump on emotionally. My parents experienced some of the rough stuff firsthand while keeping mac for a week, so they have a much better understanding of where I am at when I call (which is one of the ways to diffuse an episode).

Mac's growing has slowed down a bit (5.125" in 2 years), but he has outgrown 2 leg braces in the last year. His leg has had no problems though, so for that, much thanks. The medical things we had with mac this year was that a heart murmur was detected, and he tested borderline for TB (not uncommon for Eth kids as many were give an immunization shot and it will cause borderline tests, also many are latent carriers). After an ECHO, the heart murmur was deemed very minor and just something to be aware of if there are ever future problems. The TB will be re-tested every year (ugh) and if the reaction is ever worse, a chest x-ray will be taken.

For me, the second half of the year has been medical no-fun zone. Lumps on my breast were detected and initially I was told I needed 3 biopsies. After a specialist was consulted, that was deemed unnecessary (not a fun couple of weeks there) and I will just be on a 6 month mamo and sonogram cycle for a few years to watch and catch if anything becomes more than lumpy breasts. Additionally, after 6 months of strange cycles getting stranger and more painful I went for an ultrasound of all the girly parts and uterian polyps were discovered. I go on Christmas Eve to a specialist, so until then no idea on a plan or the scope or really anything. Not really worried, but my hormones are a mess which leaves me in a less than stable emotional place with which to navigate mac, the holidays, and everyday life. Again, thank goodness for friends and family who don't mind grumpy gripers who growl.

Everyday I am aware of how close both mac and I are to an emotional edge. Thankfully we both find comfort from each other and we really do respect our family so much that we are willing to work very hard both together and separately to get better in our roles. We met and became a family 2 years ago on 12/4/06, and when I think about things as if he were a toddler now (as it would be if I had given birth 2 years ago, and as his relationships would be if he had only known a life and a mother for 2 years), experiences often makes a lot more sense. We have so much. I have so much. I am thankful for a job, a safe and comfortable home, more than enough food and comforts of a first world life, a supportive family and friends, money in the bank, and more than (continued...)