Secret Santa,

mea culpa. I haven't gotten mine mailed yet. Many apologies!

Thank you erika! I will be getting a lot of use out of that thing in the coming year.

This is why you will be waiting to get your prezzies. Love, Theo

As Theo's Slacker Santee from last year, let me attest: Her prezzies are so very much worth the wait. Mine still make me deeply happy every time I wear one and every time I walk in to work and see another on my desk.

I, too, am shopping for my Slacker present starting now!

Good, I'm so glad!

Presents! Many presents! All for me! My Secret Santa gift arrived on Christmas Eve! Best timing ever! And it was filled with ALL KINDS OF THINGS FOR ME. Soap! And red licorice (my favourite!) and key rings, and toys for the cats (because also ALL KIND OF THINGS FOR THE KITTIES) and chocolates and other things, but best of all, caramel squares and TWO KINDS OF FUDGE. And while I have to say that the caramel squares and the mint fudhe were good, like ridiculously good, the amaretto fudge mad me have a little party in my pants.

So thank you so so much Secret Santa Nicole for the many things! We actually cracked out the fudge and caramel squares while we decorated the tree on Christmas Eve and 'twas altogether very Christmassy. And thank you again for all the thought and effort that went into my gift, it was so very much appreciated.

And to my own Santee, apologies as though I thought I could send it before Christmas, and spend slightly less on the postage by sending it while I'm in the States, my own cheapness got the better of me and I grabbed the wrong bag of stuff to bring over, so your gift is sitting in Ireland right now, just waiting to fulfil its Christmas destiny, which hopefully will happen early in the new year.

Oh yes. Beatrice is arguably the best female role Shakespeare ever wrote, and i'd love to play her, too.

I think Beatrice is the best on the page, but I can't recall seeing any performances that I liked better than Olivia de Havilland's Hermia. It took me years to forgive Callista Flockhart for sullying the poppet speech with her completely unthreatening reading. (Wheras de Havilland's was a thing of beauty, and brilliantly complemented by all the other actors in that scene looking more and more worried and stepping backwards as she got her rant on...)

Last night I enjoyed Christmas dinner with the folks (Mom's ham was SO good!) and cleaned up with a fluffy bathrobe and the Pushing Daisies DVD. Tonight, for Boxing Day/Kwanzaa, I go to celebrate Christmas with the Jewish branch of my family.

2008 was a mixed bag for me. I made some real progress, I took more risks, and made an effort to go on dates and go out more often. Yet still, real change eludes me. At the end of 2008 I find myself in the same position I was in at the beginning. I am still prone to panic attacks, and I still have moments of crippling low self-esteem.

It has become more and more clear to me that real change can't happen until I deal with the problems from my childhood. I need to dredge up all the memories and repressed emotions I have towards my father and mother so that I can move on. This realization in itself is a sign of progress, but I still at times feel overwhelmed by the work that needs to be done. As always, I am grateful for the Buffistas for their ongoing support, and for showing that a better life for me is possible.

Oh, and I met a cute woman the other night who gave me her email address. Wish me luck.

Tom, good luck to you - I think it's so indicative of all the hard work you've done that you are in a place where you can even consider these very difficult next steps.

Wish me luck.

I hope she gets lucky with you!

That's the same thing, right?