which moment hurt worst last night

Right now, I think Dean telling his mother that John loved her and he loved her too. Because...damn. I thought it all started when John handed Sam to him. I thought that was what his need to protect family centred on. But no, he's been doing this longer, under his own steam, and the idea of going back to that moment figures heavily enough that it comes up in heavenly rotation. Protecting his mother, telling her he'd never leave her, is that important to him.

Sam now knows that Dean's been cleaning up after John for a longer while, and he knows too that Dean is just hardwired that way.

Of course, I haven't rewatched yet. I'm sure the pain will change.

At the time of watching, Wee!Sam hugging Dean probably got the most immediate, visceral, allergy-laden response from me.

During watching, it was the fireworks scene and Dean tossing the amulet.

Right now, I'm thinking Dean saying his parents' marriage was only perfect after Mary died might be it. It just seems huge to me that he actually admitted it.

Also Sam's face when Dean dropped the amulet. Saaaaaaaam.

I hope my mom doesn't mind if I spend the weekend obsessively rewatching this and muttering to myself.

The amulet dropping. Castiel's face...there is just so much torture.

Great. This morning's repeat is After School Special. The previouslies are awful, but at least they didn't show the amulet being given.

Exclusive Season 6 Scoop.

Crap. Really? Totally mixed on this with a distinct leaning towards unhappy.

On another note, last night's ep: AWESOME! I am thrilled beyond words that after all this time, they're still developing the two lead characters' backstory.

And I absolutely agree that all this despair on the part of Dean and Castiel might be indicative of Sam taking up the gauntlet again, only this time, armed with a bit more wisdom.

You don't think that "exclusive" was April Fool's day related?

Crap. Really?

I'd lend more credence to the article's date than anything else.

Man, I think my appreciation for Weechester fic has just been messed right up. I don't want it to be an angsty place, but canon insists and insists, dunnit?

That was devastating.

I'm still really blue from watching the episode. Dean! It was too much for me.

The last scene with Evil!Mary saying she'd been shackled to Dean, guh. I just about reached through my television to wrap him up in my arms and tell him how much he is loved.

Sam learned a lot about Dean in the episode and while I can imagine some of it was painful for him, I agree, he's the less broken brother. He better fix this. I NEED him to fix this. Sam, put your brother back together again. He is yours to fix or break.

Or you know, Dean, maybe you could find a qualified analyst and find yourself? Can we put the apocalypse on hold while you do that?

Great, After School Special just hammered more pain home into an already delicate place. And Sex & Violence is next. Whoopee.

Can we put the apocalypse on hold while you do that?

I think we're talking years here. It could be the respite we need.

Unless they hug. I think quality hugging could fix things.

Or you know, Dean, maybe you could find a qualified analyst and find yourself? Can we put the apocalypse on hold while you do that?

He's been to Paradise, but he's never been to Dean?

Saddest moment: Sam's face.

Dude. EAR. WORM.

Plei is evil. Pass it on.