Stonehenge Apocalypse
knows
it's bad. I don't feel like My Bloody Valentine was rolling around in its own cheese the same way. I mean, you don't feel bad for Misha, do you? He just walked in off the road in his street clothes and intoned "IT WAS A ROBOT HEAD".
Here's a piece of trivia for you--this movie meant that Misha has acted with two of Colin's girlfriends, and one of Colin's brother's girlfriends. That's statistically...something, right?
The difference, for me, is that I'm sure *Misha* embraced the cheese and enjoyed the hell out of getting paid for it. Jensen, probably not so much. And no, MBV didn't get its own B-movie badness in the same way, sadly.
I think Jared's remake of
Friday the 13th
had a great sense of humor, but it also ended up being genuinely scarier than MBV, at least for gore and startle scares.
And then there was Jared on a motorcycle. Happy sigh.
I feel MBV did have some payoffs, though. I will always appreciate:
I mean, this is a net positive for the world, and Supernatural didn't seem to be picking up the precise slack. Although Skin was a brave attempt on many fronts.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I still watch MBV all the time. Because, you know, JENSEN.
But his portrayal of Tom was sort of angsty psychotic Dean in Sam's hoodie.
Warm cherry pie:
Wow, Jensen's adam's apple really works in the closeup .gif of him with the big eyes. Is Jared's that noticeable? I can't remember.
I thought MBV was absolutely a narrative cheat, FWIW. First off, promo art like the first I linked kinda spells it out, and mysteries that go back and show you that you literally did not see what they'd originally shown you--I think that's cheap and clumsy.
That's what I hate about it -- the ending is pure suck. I think
Devour's
ending might make more sense.
I remember forgetting the ending to Devour, and I'm pretty good with that. I knew the ending before I watched it, and then watching it erased it from my brain.
I don't remember it, either, but I know it pissed me off a lot less than MBV's ending.
Boys need to make some non-horror movies (much as I love horror). And no more movies about cheesy painters, either.
Yeah--at least I managed to get through the horror movies. Stonehenge Apocalypse is the only one I enjoyed, and the Christmas Cottage I couldn't finish.
Action where they're the hero, or something where they get a sex scene--or both. But I'm not quite ready to give up the security of Show for it yet. I'm selfish and smallminded in that regard.