ION, I think "Anyhoodle" would be a good name for a poodle.

but there's really no denying that Christmas is at root a Christian holiday, Jesus-y parts and all.

Except for the parts (tree, lights, yule log) that were co-opted from pagans.

I'm not religious at all and I'm raising my kids with Christmas. But I'd be hard pressed to assume that anyone should do the same if their beliefs don't jive with christmas stuff.

Except for the parts (tree, lights) that were co-opted from pagans.

Which I know. There's a lot about Easter that's co-opted from pagans, too. I'm just saying (as a firm agnostic) that Christmas has always felt like a Christian holiday in the larger American context, even though my non-religious family celebrates it.

I've never heard my dad say that Catholics aren't Christians. I guess he feels that they stray from... the word of God in the Bible, or something.

The Catholic bible has more books in it than the Protestant bible does -- that's one point of contention.

Then there's the tricky bit about the difference between what Catholic doctrine says versus what Protestant doctrine says about what actually happens when the communion host is consecrated by the priest. Catholics believe in transubstantiation, which means that it literally becomes the body of Christ, no shit, something that freaks out every Catholic schoolkid making their First Communion. Except the Bart Simpson-esque ones, I'm sure. Protestants believe in (I think I have the correct term) consubstantation, which is a little more metaphysical in that it means that Christ's *presence* is somehow a part of the communion host, without it actually *becoming* the body of Christ.

(At this point, I'm sure at least 4 Buffistas who know WAY more about theology are going to rip apart my explanation point by point, but at least I gave it a shot.)

Then there's the whole bit where Catholics do worship Mary and other saints, which Protestants generally don't. I've heard it called "idol worship" by nasty Protestants.

Well, if I'm going to write a letter to Santa, I'd probably write something like, Dear Santa, when I grow up, can I look like Christina Hendricks?

Pretty please?

Love,

Me.

Good God, but that woman is gorgeous.

There's a lot about Easter that's co-opted from pagans, too.

"Kids eat chocolate eggs because of the color of the chocolate and the...color of the wood on the cross? Well, you tell me!"

Then there's the whole bit where Catholics do worship Mary and other saints, which Protestants generally don't.

Hey, in my hood it was just instant lawn ornamentation. Rock on.

Really? I have never been raised to worship Mary, despite 12 years of Catholic school. Honor her. Ask her or other saints to intercede on our behalf (or some crap). But worship her? No.

OOOOh. The guy I left a note on his car to pull the fuck forward or else risk getting hit as I leave my driveway, is pulling away in a huff.

Which brings me around to a new blog: All the shit I didn't say.

Catholics believe in transubstantiation, which means that it literally becomes the body of Christ, no shit, something that freaks out every Catholic schoolkid making their First Communion.

We were taught this as well. Because that's what the Bible literally says. (Or so they told us - I don't remember the actual Bible verse anymore.)

Actually, that really used to bug me. Because if it really becomes the body of Jesus, I figured scientists could, say, pump the stomach of someone who's just had communion, and look for bits o' Jesus in there. And even when I was 8 years old, my gut feeling (no pun intended) was they wouldn't find any Jesus bits. SO even though I was (in my mind) a good Christian, I had some doubts even back then.

Actually, that really used to bug me. Because if it really becomes the body of Jesus, I figured scientists could, say, pump the stomach of someone who's just had communion, and look for bits o' Jesus in there.

There's a scene in Angela's Ashes where Frank throws up after he has his first communion, and his grandmother makes him go back into the confessional to ask the priest whether there's a special way to clean up communion host vomit. And the priest tells him that they should just wash it up with water, and then his grandmother makes him go in again to ask whether he means regular water or holy water.