"It's been a damned slow year, we need a hurricane, I only got into this contractor thing because my brother-in-law said we could make a killing off Katrina."

Reminds me of this Onion article: Cranberry Juice Industry Hoping 2009 A Big Year For Urinary Tract Infections

Hey, look, the Onion's right there for us.

$700 Bailout Celebrated with Lavish $800 Billion Executive Party

Save oxygen. Kill yourself. Which seems to be what a self-respecting disabled Nazi might do anyway...nobody has any respect for tradition anymore.

Since I haven't said it in a while -- I loves me some erika.

Hey Teppy - I haven't been following Bitches these days - how are you doing?

Hey Teppy - I haven't been following Bitches these days - how are you doing?

Panic attacks seem to be under control, but on the heels of that, I *seriously* injured my back 2 weeks ago. It was so bad this past weekend that I had to go to the ER to get a shot of dilaudid for the pain. I have no words for how much pain I was in. It was far worse, actually, than the pain I had before my back surgery.

But the dilaudid broke the pain and got it back to a manageable level (not gone, though), and since the weekend, my back has been slowly improving. It's by no means back to normal -- there's still some discomfort, but it's much better.

Thanks, Tep. Love you back. I think everybody was hoping they'd get theirs before the bottom fell out.

On the other hand, can you imagine how those kids are going to rebel against their parents? Guess Who's Coming to Dinner will have nothing on that family....

It's going to be tough finding black homosexual Hasidic Jews to date in central Pennsylvania.

Ahh, there's nothing quite like a real poison pen review. The Onion satisfies as it rounds up the worst movies of the year.

Larry the Cable Guy usually gets a pass for the incredible shittiness of his movies because he’s an unfunny, obnoxious bore and no one expects any better from him. But special attention must be paid to Witless Protection, if only because this shabbily assembled turd represents an era in this country’s history that we’re (hopefully) about to leave behind.

Rom-coms 'spoil your love life'

Watching romantic comedies can spoil your love life, a study by a university in Edinburgh has claimed.

Rom-coms have been blamed by relationship experts at Heriot Watt University for promoting unrealistic expectations when it comes to love.

They found fans of films such as Runaway Bride and Notting Hill often fail to communicate with their partner.

Many held the view if someone is meant to be with you, then they should know what you want without you telling them.

...

The university's Dr Bjarne Holmes said: "Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it.

So that's why none of my partners ever dressed up as Scooby Doo's Velma and said things like, "Look at that clue!"

eta: It's Velma, not Thelma. That might have been part of the trouble as well....

But what about Zom-rom-com's?