Orgasms during childbirth?

Excuse the bad pun, but are you fucking kidding me?

I mean seriously, now it's not enough that a gal's supposed to feel guilty if she gets an epidural and so misses out on the "magic of childbirth"--real women find it arousing?!?

Serious word.

I mean, I swore I was going to try to get through childbirth without an epidural not because I wanted to experience the full beauty of childbirth or would feel less of a woman for doing so, but because I have an absolute terror of needles in my back. Tell you what, though, I was BEGGING for the freakin' epidural.

Frankly, the little bit of Demerol they pumped into my IV gave me more of happy than anyone touching ever could have. It was like "Baby, give me more of that, mmm hmmm, oh yeah."

I cannot name a time I wanted to be kissed and/or caressed less, and I've given birth three times now.

Only once for me, but yeah. I really can't emphasize how very much I did NOT want to be making out with anyone while I was in labor. Like, not even a little bit.

I spent most of labor #1 vomiting. Not exactly makeout time. Although at one point I did say to a very close and supportive husband, "Dude, your breath sucks!" He went and bought a toothbrush from the vending machine. Labor #2 was too fast for making out.

I avoided an eipdural because I wanted to reduce the risk of labor stalling and having a c-section for lack of progress, but if I'd - kid interruptus

Only once for me, but yeah. I really can't emphasize how very much I did NOT want to be making out with anyone while I was in labor. Like, not even a little bit.

Yeah, it was more of a "touch me and you die" vibe.

Frankly, the little bit of Demerol they pumped into my IV gave me more of happy than anyone touching ever could have. It was like "Baby, give me more of that, mmm hmmm, oh yeah."

I liked the Nubain I got with Sara. Very trippy. Still not orgasmic, though.

We won't even discuss my labor because it still is too damn terrifying to mention. And for the record, the only person I wanted to kiss was the nice anaesthesiologist who gave me the spinal block. I think I actually pointed out how much I loved him. And given his response of patting me on the head like a puppy, I'm sure I was not the first woman in labor who said that.

They gave the dog an epidural for her amputation. I'd never heard of it in a non-childbirth context.

I liked the Nubain I got with Sara. Very trippy.

Well, I'm the world's biggest lightweight. Half a dose of antihistamine and I'm just this side of a drooling idiot, so you can imagine what I experienced on Demerol. You want to talk trippy? I had a cadre of these floating around my head about five minutes after the pumped the drug into my IV.

Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE Beanie Babies?

Oh dear, Barb.

Yeah, I think anesthesiologists must get a lot of marriage proposals. I know when mine finally showed up when I was in labor with Ben, I promised he could *have* Ben if he would just shoot me up.

I think anytime they want to do a localized surgery and feel it's better not to have the patient completely out, they can use epidurals, brenda. But yeah, it seems to be mostly a childbirth thing.

LaLaLaLaLaLaIcan'thearanylaborstoriesLaLaLaLaLA

Enh. No worries, Sparky. It will all be good.

I should shower and then go to bob's to treat myself to an omelet.

I am remarkably UNinspired today.