the no television punishment -- that was the one we hoped for. not that painful for a house full of readers. Except it was always a bit worse than no television --- it was an isolation punishment. Because after dinner my whole family went into the family room to watch tv-- with books in hand as well. But if you couldn't watch tv, you couldn't be in that room. so you were away from the whole family.

as she had a far worse opinion of me than what was going on

My parents were incredibly fair to us, which is one of the reasons I think their disappointment was so effective. I don't know about my adult guilt, but my DH often says that I have the most overdeveloped sense of justice that he's ever run into.

Ok, at the risk of sounding like a textbook example, I swear I was the only one this ever happened to.

Me too!

Our moms should have a club.

Now that I am thinking about it, this behavior makes sense given my mom's rampant paranoia.

Yeah, my mother never believed anything I ever told her from a very young age that my default became lying. I figured fuck it - why bother with the truth when she doesn't believe it anyway.

In the context of our teaching, I'm much quicker to discipline than D. is. No corporal, of course. (Hee, I almost typed corporeal, which would be a whole nother thing.) Discipline is something that is often not offered at home, so we are clear and specific with it so that they grow to understand our set boundaries. Of course, for the most part, our classes are voluntary, so the worst possible punishment is to be asked to leave.

But I will intervene quickly, because I feel that we have a lot of safety issues to preserve. Usually it doesn't take much more than a quick public Stern Comment. If it makes it to a Quiet Aside Stern Comment, then we're in serious ground and it usually holds over effectiveness for months afterward. By the time it hits Loss of Privileges, we usually have other issues going on that need addressed.

But I definitely have Teacher Voice in a way that he either doesn't have or doesn't choose to use. But we also do lots of modeling and positive reinforcement, because that's usually also lacking.

My dad spanked me about three or four times in my life--usually when I did something that would get me killed. However, once, I lied to his face about a boy that he hated (with good reason). Dad raised his hand as if he was going to slap me but he just lowered it. I never forgot the look of disgust and disappointment on his face.

That hurt me more than a slap ever could.

I'd consider my parents mild spankers. Nothing too horrible and certainly not abusive. I've broken down and swatted Liv and O once or twice but it's just not as effective as a time out or taking something away that they like. They just don't connect the physical violence with my desire that they behave.

YCMV.

I am actually a really, really good liar if I plan it out (but I don't lie much anymore), but sometimes I am so nervous during on the spot truth telling that people think I am covering.

Except I told my mother to go fuck herself.

A few years back I reminded my sister and mom about an argument they had back when sis was 16 or so (and in the middle of the Teen Years From Hell) which I witnessed but did not participate in (both of us sibs knew to stay clear of Mom and sis arguing). They were standing face to face, screaming at each other, and sis started sputtering, finally coming out with, "I'll tell Dad!!" Dad and Mom had been divorced for a few years by this point and we never brought him into arguments we had at the house, ever. So, after Mom came back with "Fine, tell him!", the argument sputtered out and Mom left to do whatever.

I then asked sis what the hell that reference to Dad was about, and she responded, "It was either that or 'Fuck you!', which I figured would get me smacked, so I said the first thing I thought of that wasn't a swear word."

When I reminded them of that argument, they were both amazed that I remembered it (neither of them did), and laughed about Sis's discarded retort. Mom agreed that saying that would have gotten her slapped.

The disappointment thing worked on my oldest sister, my middle sister had to be grounded, and I watched it all going on and was very careful not to do anything that got noticed until I got to college, at which point the disappointment and grounding thing were useless--not to say Mother didn't try.

All Daddy had to do was frown at me to get me sobbing in contrition.

My parents were antispanking, and I think I got swatted twice. One I remember (it was a reflexive swat: I'd jumped on my dad while he was holding a fresh cup of coffee and it spilled all over both of us. At the time, I thought he was trying to just knock me out of the way) the other, which my mother STILL feels bad about, I have no recollection of.

In WTFF news, I had to go to 3 gas stations to find one that wasn't out of gas. And it was snowing. And really cold. And windy. I couldn't feel my fingers. SRSLY, what was up with that. Gas's been under $1.90 for a couple days, and all places were within 5 cents of each other. Crazy.