Vortex, my relationship with S became very much like that (and to some extent still is). Not that I have any good advice, but if you ever want to talk about it, my inbox is always open.

part of me thinks that it's unfair that she's dumping all of this on me when there are plenty of other people that she can rely on (like, my brother or her best friend).

I'm inclined to agree with that part of you. If your mother choses to only connect with you, and then says that the connection is insufficient, she's choosing to engage in a relationship that makes her unhappy. It's not your fault that she's lost her husband, and its not your fault that she's not engaging with other people. I don't know her (or you, really), but I've watched my dad adjust to losing his wife of 48 years. He flailed around for a while getting his emotional balance back and drove me and my sister nuts for a while. And he wasn't even being a jerk about it, just needy.

Not that this provides any answers. Sorry. I hope your mother finds an emotional balance point that she and you can live with, soon.

I'm nodding like a bobblehead at what everybody is saying here. First and foremost, you are not over-reacting to anything. Windsparrow's right, your mom *is* trying to change the dynamic between you, to something she feels she needs, and in doing so she is completely disregarding your needs and your feelings.

Would you accept and acquiesce to this behavior from an aquaintance? A friend? I doubt it.

She is probably not going to change, unless she has some sort of epiphany and seeks counseling. Which puts the responsibility for your mental health and how you handle the relationship squarely on you. She's probably going to act badly no matter what you do. So the best you can do is be as kind as you can manage and still retain your own equilibrium.

And I love you and I'm sorry you're going through this.

::murmering for the hundredth time...Beverly is wise::

Bev is very wise.

It's a very tough position to be in -- I've watched my mom go through this with my grandmother forever. She's an only child, too, which makes it tough. I'm sorry, Vortex.

You know my hope is that Iris will battle Mal for the privilege of being Master Tigress, and I won't have to keep calling my son a gender-bending furry.

She's going for Dragon Warrior. (of course) So Tigress Mal can keep on keepin' on. At least for now.

Ooh! I meant to say that I am totally and completely in love with that tattoo, Raq. I've always toyed with the idea of having one, but never found a design I thought I would be happy with forever. I outgrow things, and whatever design I love today I might be bored with after awhile.

But that? That is gorgeous and beautiful and if I ever did decide to get a tattoo, I'd certainly consider something similar.

But that? That is gorgeous and beautiful and if I ever did decide to get a tattoo, I'd certainly consider something similar.

Yeah, that may be the first tatoo I've ever seen that made really want the same design on myself.

I'm still kind of entranced by the black light tattoo someone linked recently, though not in that design.

Go Shir and Sister of Shir. And if you can get the introduction of course it is better. But generally if all you want is "Can I have a copy of your paper" that can be had for the asking. James Hansen (worlds leading climate scientist, NASA bigwig) has answered questions for me - not just referred me to papers. And not cause I'm anyone special, just because the default for a lot of academics is get people information unless there is a reason why not.